``letters to you``

2005-05-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

on hiatus everyone.
will be back soon. nyeheaaa.
cheers.
i`ll miss my sweetcakes lotsies.

2005-05-28T12:09:00.000-07:00

"i pity Fian so much, dapat pompan macam kau. hahaha! if i can tell Fian, i'll ask him to leave you, BITCH! hahaha!"

me to sender : hahh. guess what? i`m laughing too. even the hairs on my head are laughing along with me. i`m laughing so bloody hard at how ridiculous some gurls ie YOURSELF can get so obsessed with my bf. then again, maybe you should just fuck yourself with a tree trunk, that`s if the tree finds you appealing. if not, don`t bother. cheerios. =)

i know you`re reading this - whoever your name is. see, aren`t i a sweetheart? i`m helping you by making these words much bigger. if you`re still not satisfied, i suggest you walk around the island with those words written on your forehead.

nice try. but, hey, the next time you tryna trample on me, don`t send me messages through friendster with no profile, no pictures, no nothing -
SAY IT TO MY FACE. =)

new skin - hee. again. nyehee.
goodbye everyone.

2005-05-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

good morning. yess. i`m an early bird on weekends. nyehee. mcm reall jee.
anyhoos. at 7:46pm yest, baba said;

"adekk. for your own good. i`ll keep the modem in my room. and you`re not allowed to watch tv progs as much as you used to. only during the weekends. after sunday, there`ll be no more internet connection for you."

and i stared at the tv screen with very sad eyes, meminta simpati gituu.
but; i keep telling myself it`s only for 4 mths.
study smart, practise and get the blardie exams over and done with.
the end of the sufferings. yess. easier said than done. =\

enough about exams and papers and failing and yadayadayadaa.

the mother was so rajin yest. she always is laa. nyehee.
she made cream puffs; durian flavoured and just plain cream for the father. hee.
(yes, ET, its ur fav. haha.)
annddd. being the very rajin mother of the 21st century, she even made cocktail jelly and suji with nuts and raisins in it. i likkeee.
WITH MY HELP tauu. wahaha. tu mesti emphasise sikit. hehee.

so, my point is : after receiving report book with average results and getting endless naggings, the mother will always show her love by filling her family`s stomachs. nyeheee. kaozz.
nonsense sakkk.

FYI.
most prolly, Yan and i are gon delete our friendster accounts. asap.
i`m not sure if Yan really wants to get rid of his, but as for myself,
i`m deadly tired of receiving messages from some insolent gurls who finds it a big shito problem that Yan and i are together.
(and to "tak payah tau" who tagged, ur definitely one of them.)
soo.
conclusion : even if it won`t be deleted, i definitely wouldn`t be logging in everyday to have it checked. soo. simply put, our friendster accounts will be very much far from alive and messages, friend requests and all other crap will be ignored - not that we WANT to.

have a great weekend pple.
=)

and syuuu. thanks for the email. i was so touched by it!
i`ll sms u ouhkayy. *hugs*

2005-05-27T17:24:00.000-07:00

meet the parents session.
hrmss. pretty okay.
the topic about studying smartly, practising Maths and sacrificing weekends was inevitable.
why must it not be anyways. as expected, it had always been a must to be mentioned.
ouhh. the parents was disappointed in me. i know. i was disappointed in myself too.
greatly.
sooo. they came up with a new "strategy" ; to help me "improvise" my studies and the person itself.

one - no internet connection unless it`s very much necessary. which means, hanya dalam kes2 kecemasan sahaja, amalina dapat menggunakan peralatan tersebut. yes, modem will be hidden. *sobs*

two - scv will be gone. gone. gone. taken away from me. goodbye HBO, goodbye MTV, but most of all ; goodbye Utt.

to sum up, this blog will be dead. again. for God-knows-how-long.
i feel badd. this wouldn`t happen if i`d studied blardie hard sampai bile tido pon mimpi Maths formulas and Chemistry equations.
i knowww. too late for regrets. aiyahx. sheesh.

on the other hand, school was okay just now.
star awards? i was a nervous wreck. i swear i was. and when i met Dear on his way back home, i know he wanted to laugh. i knowww. that guyyy. hmphs. nyehee.

art;
was surprisingly goood. nyehee.
cause, to be honest, danny and i dint do much. heee. kite org cume amek paint, bobal2, p kat the sec4 Exp gurls where we gossip-d mcm tk ingt dosa. nyehee. okayy. tipu laa. kite tk mengumpat laaa. cumee. bobal je. muahah. like as if it makes a difference.

this sounds crazee;
but, i miss SALINA. i miss my crazee kick-ass cousin. =(
(oi dengs. gue rindu sama luu.)
nyehee.
when was the last we went out and had a blast? the last time we camwhored and acted like anak-anak pelarian. waha. so tk manis sey the meaning.
(gue jumpa-in lu minggu depan siihh. lu jangen lupa sama janji kita kok.)
nyehee. fluent la beb. muahaha.

i`ll end this here. nyehee. actually kan. actually. banyak lagi nak type. tapi, later u all u all borings kan. nyehee. =)

THE JUNE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE BABEYY.
*clap, jump around and do the crazee-woman dance*

psst : good luck to O level takers taking the Malay papers this coming monday. *smiles*

best believe, i`ll try to update again soon. in school laa; where else.
miss me okay sweetcakes.
to my regular taggers - i know i`m gon miss your tags.
and to niss, SMS me la dengs. i`m ouh-so looking forward to our next outing. yippees.
and syuuu, pass me your number and we`ll stay in touch!! okay babe?! nyeheee.

ps : friendster surfing send chills down my spine. some gurls actually take the intiative to send messages to guys and practically begged them to reply. mentang2 class ko sebelah dgn matair akuu...hmms. (nyehee; part ni da confidential.)
mentang2 aku dah tkle check both mine and dear`s accounts, amek kesempatan yee. hehh.
but anyways, Shafian`s MINE.
don`t like it? live with it. nyehee.
i`ll SERIOUSLY bite and shove my computer desktop up your ass if u dare tryna create trouble. nyehee. *feeling goood gitu*

dum dee duummm.

2005-05-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

i`m considering.
maybe i should move to LJ.
hmmms.

psst:
Frank Iero is HOTT.
that`s the definition of a REAL kick ass rocker. haha
okayy. and so is my Only One. nyehaa.

2005-05-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

righht.
and so - i`m bored now.
like REALLY bored.

Salina and the rest just went back home.
soo fast. =(

and noww. i`m alonee. with only nenek at home.
the parents are out ; with alang and the rest to some guy`s place.
the sister is out to town. blardie hell.
she always gets to go out on Sundays with Hakim.
serious shyt.

i`m supposed to finish my karangans.
but it seems like it`s not gon happen.
*amal has not touched her school bag at all since Friday*
nyahaa. malas nyeeee.

ouh-kay.
time to kacau the boyfriend.
nyahaa. i simply love being the gurlfriend. hrhr.

2005-05-23T14:48:00.000-07:00

The Newly Weds.

_____
my body, legs and feet are screaming for a g o o d massage.
i`ve got at least 5 blisters on my feet. and my calf is killing me slowly.
i can`t even walk properly. it`s strained or something.

yesterday was hectic ; but undeniably fun.
we (Yaya and Me) were incharge of the berkatss.
had to walk around ALOT and we did our job pretty well.
no curik2-for-breaks or duduk-jela shyts from either of us.
surprisingly, we actually enjoyed it. especially yaya. wahah.

akak, nisha and nina duties` were to clear up the table, fill the guests` empty glasses and stack the dirty plates at the back.
nyehee. pretty hard. but they managed.

the guests started pouring in at about 12+ and since then, we had been busy. anyhoos, camwhoring was out of the question. we dint get to take pictures of ourselves - well, not more than 10 anyways.

in the evening, the newlyweds came down and we gota take pix with them. woo-hoo.
it was really sweet and touching when Kak Noni criedd.
and the most fav part for me ; was when they were asked to have a slowdance.
nyaahaaaa. sweet seyy.

ouhh. Aaron Aziz was also there.
i wanted to take his pict with his baby boy and wifey ; but the boys bawak lari camera akuu. =(
anyhoos, tak kesah laa. its just Aaron Aziz ; not Frank Iero. nyeha. bobal byk confident ehh amal. heh.
mcm lah si Frank Iero tu pegi jemputan Melayu.. hahh.

___
Random Stuff : and so. the weekend`s been good. i`ve been good. hahah. ouhh-kayy. except to Yan on certain occasions where we ALWAYS have something to spit at each other. yadayadayada.

i have nothing more to sayy.
soo - have a great week ahead pple.
last week before the June Hols starts - so ; get exciteddd. nyahaa.

toodles~~

psst - Wedding pictures? click here

2005-05-21T22:58:00.000-07:00

today was fun.
i had fun.
with my two besties ; danny and efy.
together with my Only One.

wheee.
though i know he was very tired and the guitar he was carrying was a burden to his back, he dint complain.
hehh. =)

went to bugis to look for tees.
all three of us were pretty happy after we got our own stuff.
i bought a BAG!! woohoo. nyehee.

after which, we headed to BK at Borders.
had our VERY late lunch.

we then went to Far East, where Yan joined us.
nyahha.
Yan = lethargic.
i swear. he was looking so tired and exhausted ; and walking around Far East and Heerens looking for sandals dint help.
later, when all else fails, we decided to walk to Plaza Singapura.
that was our last pitstop of the day. (nyehee. lame rightt? right)

hurhurr.
and blardie hell, it rained like &*^%$#@ just now.
for the first time in history of mankind,
AKU SHARE PAYUNG DENGAN SEORANG LELAKI YANG AKU SAYANGG.
muahaha. like wahh. *abeh proud seyy.*

kayy. back to business.
fortunately, found the right sandals for Danny at C&K.
THAT was when i realised ; Yan was rightt.
i was so ngada2-ing the whole dayy siakk.
wahah. i was a pain in the ass to him - although he dint say it. hehh.

and, at the end of it all ; the boyfriend decided to walk me home.
yes, we walked home together - AGAIN.
muahah. like so rajin like that ; walk homee.
when was the last time we took a bus back home seyy. that was like on our very first date. nyehee.
soo. he was soo much nicer on the way back home.
duno why ; there wasn`t any sarcastic jokes, no "eleh..diam laa." or "asshole. shythead" tiffs.
it was all about "yan.and.amal." waha. so romeo and juliet sakk.

and yes ; yawn peoplee. yawnn.
nyahah.
i love today. alott.

ouh. and i saw Niss and Rach!! whee.
yes, we were supposed to go out together - all 5 of us.
but something cropped up.
hehh. but it was so nice bumping into those two prettyfaces. hehh.

and soo.
let me end this useless piece of information with yet another useless piece of informtaion. blurghss.
i heart shafian. blardie alot okay. u pple never asked, tkpe. i just wana tell. *smiless*
and i heart my gfs aloott too ; danny and efy. hello gurls. i`m Amy from now on. hehh. nonsense la amall. wahaha.

going kendarat-ing tomorrow.
kak noni`s wedding.
and my duty is to give the berkats to guests.
wahaha. suke nyeee. heee.

selamat tinggal kawan2 ku.

2005-05-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

gawddd.
waiting for replies from Mr Brightside and Ms Salina aka my lil gundu cuzzie.
for the last 15 minutes. yess ; fifteen minutes.
goodness. please reply la dengz!

and again.
i`m waiting.
for akak to come back home with my new pair of shoes.

the irony of it all.
sheesh.
i`m tired of waiting.

ouh kayy.
i don`t wana wait anymore.

danngg.

bahhh.

2005-05-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

okayy.
so the song is not working.
shitos betul.

school was not so fun tadi.
let`s not talk about it.

mid year results was devastatingly painful to look at.
in fact ; i don`t wana think about it at all.

7 more days to normal school lessons before June hols starts.
so lambattt.

i don`t know what else to blog.
hehh.
but looking forward to Saturday.
trip to town with my besties ; Danny and Efy. alongside with Niss and Rachel.
how kewl is that?
yess. total kewlness.

hehh. Danny and Efy.
maybe i should change my name to Amy so it`d all rhyme.
i know ; its crap right.
but who cares, aku punye suke laa.
*evil laugh*
hee.

toodless.

2005-05-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

when you have to look away, when you don't have much to say,
thats when I love you,
I love you, just that way,
to hear you stumble when you speak or see you walk, with two left feet,
thats when I love you ;
I love you, endlessly.

`cause heres my promise made tonight, you can count on me for life,
thats when I love you,
when nothing you do can change my mind,
the more I learn, the more I love,
the more my heart can`t get enough,
thats when I love you no matter what.

when you can`t quite match your clothes or when you laugh at your own jokes,
thats when I love you.
I love you, more than you know.
when you forget that we had a date or that look you give when you show up late ;
baby I love you ; I love you anyway
_______**

happy 3rd to us. =)

.all.i.want.to.do.is.grow.old.with.you.

2005-05-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

These are the words you wish you wrote down.

This is the way you wish your voice sounds.

Handsome and smart.

My tongue`s the only muscle in my body that works harder than my heart.

And it`s all from watching TV and from speeding up my breathing.

Wouldn`t stop if I could.

It hurts to be this good.

.my.right.to.hate.you.

2005-05-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

sunday morning.

i usually hate Sundays cause it`s the end of the weekend.

but today is an exception ; cause there`s no school tomorrow.

wheeee.

anyhoos-
went to Queensway yesterday.

i`m so gon have to save and scrimp if i want that gorgeous thing to be mine.

i`m practically broke this month - and best believe; would still be in the same pathetic state next month.

with so many things to get; my wallet`s gon have a big hole soon.

not forgetting to set aside 6 bucks for Mr Brightside`s upcoming gig next month.

please ; let $ drop from the sky and make it possible for only me and no one else to see.

yea right. ouhkeyy. i`m getting lame right - i know.

i don`t intend to blog much today ayways.

so that`s it.

i`ll be back tomorrow, same time, same channel, same url.

right. pathetic asshole sak akuu.

wahah. that`s what Mr Brightside calls me ; in a playful manner - ASSHOLE.

ouh -kayy la. i`m shooing now.

bubbyyy-e.

dum dee dummm.

2005-05-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

I hear our song;

it keeps playing on the radio

You're on my mind, I can't let you go.

2005-05-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

whoopeedoos.
i`m back - impermanently.
but let`s get excited - I'M BACKKK.
*clap hands, dance around.*

exams are finally over. at last. akhirnya.
results are gon be painful to look at ; that, i can assure.
i din`t expect maths paper to be THAT tough.
it`s blardie tough ; i had to crack my head into pieces.
and no ; cracking heads dint help either.
i suppose i din`t exactly did my best.
shitos. i know i should have.

life`s treating me good - as for now.
no bitchings - (unless, of course ; if some shytheads suddenly miss me so much and i simply became their favourite topic of the day laa.)
i`m still in love with my dearest Mr Brightside.
mihevoli.
ilovehim.

so that`s me and my issues.

______
just now was fun.
went out with Niss and Rachel.
blardie cute man the two of them.
hahah. so, Niss is a camwhore. and Rachel is a shopping freak.
she shopped like there`s no tomorrow. jealous like thatt. hee.
*niss, we`ll get the off-shoulder top someday!! i swear we should. hee.
soo. we camwhored the day through. so fun. pics will be up soon. hehh.
later i left those prettyfaces to meet my Mr Brightside.
and they lfet for Hougang to meet Niss` bf.

oouh. and, i saw SYU!!! syu. syu. syu. my evps galfren.
the one with such a kind heart and a warm smile.
the one who puts a smile on everyone`s face. yes, that one. that oneee. hee.
i dint notice her. till she waved at me. and i went "ouh. hi!".
i felt like hugging her. hurhurrr ; after years of not seeing each other. gosh, i miss u so much, Syuuu.

anyways.
went home with Mr Brightside just now.
double hoorays.
walked home from the interchange to my place. wahahh. should do more walking after he said i was fat. blardie hell.
hahh.
it`s just so good to see him.
__________________________

btw-s.
nenek passed away 3 weeks ago ; 28th April 2005. @ 9:25 am.
i was having physics that morning when mama smsed and informed me that she was otw to sch to fetch me home.
i din`t see it coming ; although there were some signs.
im sure ET, akak and the rest felt the same way too.

her absence was greatly felt.
and will be for as long as we live.

to those who tagged ;
thanks so much for your condolences. it was greatly appreciated.

Te extrano mucho.

Pienso en ti cuando me levanto, y tu eres lo ultimo en quien pienso antes de dormirme.

2005-05-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

hell-o.

i`ll be on
HIATUS
for a while.
won`t be long.
but if you pple do miss me, TAG me!
hahh. =)

ouhh-uh.
it`s fridae aka meet-mr-clark-kent-on-tv dae.
whoopedoos.

ooh.
its raining.. its pouring.

later alligator.
have a great weekend ahead while i sit at home and mug for the upcoming papers next week.
*sobs*

2005-04-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

hello there ; whopeedooo.

saturday was great ; went to Suntec City with Abg Ayul, Akak, Et and Nurul.
wooppps. we had a rolling good time. hehh.

i managed to talk to Et about some stuff.
(i know you as much as i know myself. *winks*)

at night - before i went to bed :
i got emo-ish when Yan talked about trust.
~~my ouh-so-tak-favourite topic.~~
okay. so nooo. i just got tangled up in thoughts and acted like an ogre.
despite the fact that he was not even at fault, he said all those comforting words to make me feel better.
ho-ho.
throw me reasons to why i should not heart this guy, someone ; cause i can`t find any, after 2 years of friendship and 2 mths of "i-love-you-you-love-me" period.

dear love,
xoxo. i heart you .xoxo
written with love,
=) your only one.

Taufik was undeniably gorgeous on tv last night.
i had a rather stoopid grin pasted on my face while watching him on tv.
(tsk3. slap me please someone.)
psshh..
but i would practically drool if Yan was ever on tv.
haa.

okay.
i`m shoo-ing now.

psst : this blog won`t be as active as it used to be due to time constraint. but please keep those tags coming in. *smiles*
(Niss, i`ll keep u updated via sms. tc babe.)

ok bye.
yes - i`m going.
toodles now.

2005-04-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

i know. i`ve not been updating this almost dead blog for a week.
been busy ayy.
anyhoos, i can`t tag at my own taggy. to be exact, i can`t even see my tags.
so, gota read it from cbox.com itself.
replies to taggers.
*btw, thx for tagging. hee.*

-lina : heh. nice entry? heh. i wont be deleting laa ok. just asking for suggestions la gile. =) had fun last Sat. u rock my socks!

*ross : hey sweets. hee. i wont be deleting. dont worry ey. keep reading my dead entries. heh. anyhoos, i culdnt tag at your board?! *sobs* tc!

Benji Riot`s Girl : arlow! im not deleting ok, Syu.. *winks* anyhoos, ur taggy is under repair eyy? no wonder. hee. tc babe.

Ruby : hey. long time since u tagged!! thx for tagging sweets..c ya in sch! *hugs*

marni : hey there prettyface..! gosh. thx.. *smiles*

ifran : haha. you need not wear it to sch ok? you can actually walk around my sch naked. my school`s full of dickheads who do unthinkable stuf. u can join the club. *gembira-gembira always!*

`princess : hee. thx so much gurl. heh. im not gon delete. *promise*

'B' : whee! aku nmpk ko tadi! whee!! haha..ouh ouh ouh!! and, aku suke kasot ko!! lawa! i loikeee.. *smiles*

__

okie.
will update tomorrow eyy.
*promise*

as of now, keep the tags coming in!
tc. have the greatest weekend.
*winks*

2005-04-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

i`m thinking whether i should have this blog deleted?
hmms. suggestions pls pple?
______

anyhoos. yesterday was so fun fun fun!!
i love Saturdays.
and it was so well-spent with ET and my sis.
heh. we camwhored the whole day through.
pictures are up. click on "girls night out (160405) " if u wana look at it.

met ET @ Orchard MRT stat.
then went to Lucky Plaza to have our late lunch.
after which we walked to Far East and ET shopped like there`s no tmrw. hahahh.

went to this one store which sells earstuds, beads and vintage clothing - and we posed with shades on.
the nyonya was obviously furious with us.
kept giving us that "eh..lu mau beli ke tidak? lu takmo beli, lu klua ah.. takmo amek2 gmbr kat kedai gua" look.
wahahh. but who cares. hehh.

while walking around @ heerens, it happened. it was like love at first sight.
i found myself dumbstrucked by his beauty.
it got me weak and i went "wow.."
i wanted to bring him home with me.
that black tote bag was gorgeous.
absolutely unique.

however, i dint get it. i dint have enough $ with me.
why? cause i spent a quarter of the $ i brought from home on candies. guess i should collect some more $. hehh.
but anyhoos, i got myself a bracelet. its nice and im in love with it.

right after camwhoring, gossipping, window-shopping as well as shopping (ah. get it?), we went straight to nenek`s place.
took the mrt and alighted at Khatib.
obviously the train was so crowded.
but most alighted at Orchard and so we rushed for empty seats.
and i really mean - RUSH.
i was tryna get the seat beside ET (bukan kanchiong la. cuma rush je! ) when a man 20times my size (ok. im exaggerating. but hes big and scary looking ok.) nudged me real hard.
to be exact - die siku kepala aku.
i cried "owh! kepala aku!!" - obviously i dint notice that there were two Malay boys looking.
hahh. and they laughed at me. kurang ajar betul mamat2 tu. hahah.

we were listening to songs from Et`s mp3 when this one apek boarded the train.
i swear he was so cute and farni.
he kept jumping around like a mad man.
ET and i kept saying he`s into emo cause he has this sad expression on his face and he stares at the floor for so long - like posing for a band`s album cover.
hehh.

Yan and i smsed each other from 9pm to 3am last night.
how crazee was that.
absolute insanity.
and i don`t think we would have stopped sms-ing if my batt wasn`t low. hehh.
but surprisingly, i woke up rather early this morning.
sheeshh.

ok. crap.
heehee.

have a great Sunday everyone!

ps : ET and akak, lets go out again after my mid year exams. and please dont laugh at the thought that i`m still sitting for mid year papers while you chicks are enjoying poly life. grr.
and Niss, i so want to meet up with you at Cine yest!! but sheesh - our cars din`t collide eyy?. lets spend some time together one day babe.

written with love.

2005-04-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

to whom it may concern.

i am so gobsmackingly surprised to see how judgemental you can be.
like - oh my god.
no. make it OH! MY! GOD!
fyi, i dont like it when you diss him like as if you know him more than i do.
cause, ma`am. you dont. you DONT.
i feel like i could just spell out that word "DON`T" right in your face but i just don`t feel like looking at you.

and you hung up on me.
how rude.
just so you know - i can be rude too.
i actually paid attention to the television more than the words that came out of your mouth.
ouh. and, yes, here`s some more.
i playfully twisted the telephone cord as well as the wire while pretending to listen to you.
oops. then again, the phone was not even near my ear.
see? i`m rude too.

you want to know something?
well, even if you said NO, i bet you`re dying to know what.
i wake up every morning with this one thought in my head : -

hi. my name is amalina and i love shafian.

ouh. you don`t like it?
well. its okay.
i never needed you to like it in the first place.

you said i`ve changed.
and you said its because of him.
well. i totally disagree with you on that.
do i need to explain? well, i suppose not. cause most of my explanations would only lead to more arguments.

i`m sick really.
i`m so sick of tryna make you understand. to just speak up and TALK to you.
sometimes i wish you could just try to understand.
but you NEVER do.

i used to be able to talk to you.
confide in you.
tell you about the guys i had crushes on and stuff.
you were like a friend.
however, one fateful evening, you started treating me differently.
you never ask "how was school" or "any problems".
in short - you don`t bother and you don`t care.
i`m not as idiotic as you thought ma`am.
i have brains and eyes to think and see.

i think you`re turning into a few of my makciks.
yes, my makciks and pakciks.
those makciks and pakciks who perhaps write down "GOLDEN RULES" on a paper and have it pasted on every wall of their house to make sure their children obeys them.
i don`t mean to compare. i don`t even want to.
but you see ma`am, their children are just like me too.
you really should broaden your mindset and stop thinking about "what would people think".
its a free world ma`am.
you can`t close peoples` mouths.

if you don`t like me to be with someone, i`m sorry.
but i think it`s a case of "us-without-you".
sorry if this was harsh. but i think you were harsh-er than me.
and i`m so hurt by your words. i feel like crying but i can`t.
i`m not that delicate. you know i`m not.
________

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don`t believe it makes me real
I`d thought it`d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it`s in my soul
I`d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I`m trying to let you know
That I`m better off on my own.

__________

2005-04-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

it`s proven that Azri needs to seek medical help.
he`s been sending me stoopid (and i really mean STUPID) cartoons (to be exact = stick men and women) by msn chats.
he labelled one of the sick stick women as me and one is himself.
he then drew one holding a knife on his right hand and MY so-called HEAD on his other.
which=i`m dead. he killed me. literally. technically. physically. verbally. msn-ly. ouh whatever.
he`s proven insane. azri, ur one crazee dude. u better go check your health stauts before it gets worse.

i changed my layout again.
i don`t know why i did so.
boredom forced me into it.

the font are bigger now.
its convenient for people like me who has to get my glasses everytime i log into the internet.

ouh. the music video is not working. or isit?
i don`t know. pardon me if it stops playing.
i`ll make sure it does in a few days eyy.

apparently im blabbing about my ouh-so-boring blog.
again.
i know, i can get so neurotic at times.

for the zillionth time in 17 years, i was accused of trying to steal someone`s boyfriend.
my reaction= lol.
even if i`m not attached, best believe i won`t go around flirting regardless of whether he is or is not attached.
and it`s such a shame that the guy has been telling his gf that i`ve been trying to get close to him.
excuse the hell out of me.
what were you thinking boy?
going around telling people that i`ve been flirting with u?
get a life la brother.
i REALLY pity your gf. having to believe and trust those words that comes out from your mouth.

sometimes i think people talk too much about me.
its eww just to know that some girls think about me often.
do i appear in their dreams too just like Yan and Utt appears in mine?
hmms.

its a pity some lil princesses are greatly affected with the way i am or the things i`ve got.
can`t you just live with it.

on a lighter note, i`m ouh-so-thankful i found great friends whom i know i can really rely on.
for instance, Ross, Syu, Lina, Niss and not forgetting Salina, my cousin who stands up for me everytime pple tries to mess with me.
with gurlfriends like you sweetcakes, i could care less about the gurls who tryna bring me down.
*kisses and hugs*

and yes, am glad i found Yan.
hes the king of my heart.
the one who never fails to make me smile and laugh.
i heart him.

2005-04-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

mama was the 5th person to say i`ve been eating alot.
had two bowls of Mee Soto followed by more chocolate bicuits and some cookies last two nights.
"eh2. dek, asek makan je.."

(she then turned to face baba, with that disapproving look on her face.)
eh kaoooo.

mkn byk salah. tak mkn langsung salah.
but anyhoos, its unusual really.
i`ve been eating alot these days.
been silently munching slices of bread with peanut butter in class while pretending to listen to Ms Seah`s boring lessons.
hmms. guess the fetish to eat so much would just go away in a week`s time.

blog entries are getting boring aren`t they.
yadayada-ing about school and Yan and myself. hehh.
you people must be boreeeddd reading all this tosh.

PE lesson=ripping me apart.
we played softball.
apparently, i`m not a good ball catcher.
before the lesson ends, mr soh actually said :

"AMELINA (yes, that`s how he pronounced my name A-ME-LI-NA") go and practise. your catching is simply atrocious."

he could have just stabbed me in the heart right there and then.
when it was my turn to field, he said again
"ahh. amelina (it sounds gooey.), the one with the never-eat-rice look."

argggghhhh. i wish i could kick him in his groin and make him a disabled man.

firstly, i eat rice.
secondly, im just not a good ball catcher. don`t try to make me onnnneeee.
nevertheless, i still heart mr soh cause hes cute. hee.

____
i`m all alone now.
akak`s out with baba.
mama`s working today.
i`m getting hungry again.
ouh sick.

gon go food-hunting now.
toodles.

-the more people try to tell me that my relationship with Yan is gon be just temporary, the more determined i am to prove to them otherwise.

2005-04-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

last night was abit emotional.
we (abg ayul, akak, ET and me) sat on nenek`s bed and talked to her.
kinda consoled and tried to get her to sleep.
but we couldn`t.
despite her condition, nenek kept making us laugh with her jokes.

everything was pretty okay,
i was okay - until alang and nenek embraced and akak cried (told you she was sensitive!)
and ET and i followed suit.
like oh my gawd.

despite my effort to maintain some composure, a big fat tear sneaked past my guard and rolled down my cheek.
i couldn`t look at akak. cause i know i`ll cry more. so i just stared at nenek and kept smiling like an idiot.
when was the last time i felt so vulnerable - knowing that a close kin is gon leave us all when the time comes....

i guess its true that our little lives are part of a much bigger pattern.
it rains. and it shines again.
everything would be all right.
it`s something humans has to accept.

anyhoos, i really5 hope nenek`s gon be fine.
she`s gota be.
and to those who tagged,
Ross, Effa and Mas.
ouh. u girls are sweet. thanks alot. :)

________________

happy 19th birthday to Hakim, my "to-be-brother-in-law"?
*hmmms*

a dear friend called me up this evening.
and told me of a problem shes facing.
what else but matters of the heart.
haish-es.
i pity her. alot.

i was so so so furious at the guy who broke her heart into millions of pieces.
it was so maddening that i swear if i were to see him in a posh restaurant anywhere in this world,
i would reach across the table for his steak knife and stab him right through the heart.
i would hold him by the throat and stick a fork right into his eyes.
i would lacerate his stupid face with a broken plate.
i would smash his glass on the table and grind the broken shards into his groin.

thats NOTHING compared to the pain he caused.
ouh some boys.
anyhoos, sweets, i know you`ll be reading this.
brace yourself babe.
be strong and don`t ever ever ever give in to that numbnut cause he don`t deserve u!

okay. enough said.
its 8 at night and i`m getting hungry and stil has not taken a bath.
k shoo.
i`m gone..

2005-04-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

just a few minutes ago, i was cracking my ouh-so-empty head, tryna figure out anything interesting to blog today.
then, like a few seconds later, akak came into the room.

akak : dek, tuition pkul brape?

aku : err. 5+ gitu ahh. knape?

akak : ouh k. mama amek half-day tau.

aku : ishk. uat ape? mesti penat nye pasal.

akak : tkla. mama rush to Yishun.

aku : eh.. knape kak?

akak : nenek tgh nazak. ET and baba smue da kat situ.

aku mcm : whatttttttttt. tell me you`re lying altho i know ur such a bad liar.

and soon after, akak went out to watch Triple 9 on tv. i`m sure she`s feeling sad but she refuse to cry infront of me.

she was discharged yesterday morning. and now... ouh life.

i`m just so overwhelmed with emotions right now.
although nenek did not literally brought me up when i was younger, i feel that - ouh gosh.
she`s still my grandma.
the one whose home i always go to every Saturday night (before she was admitted to the hospital) to have dinner and just laugh my socks off.
the one who would cook a lot of dishes for us after knowing we`re coming over.

i so very hope she`ll be fine.
=(

2005-04-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

sheeshness to the mighty core.

i`m sodding bored at home.

blurghs.

why can`t Sundays be fun.

tomorrow is Monday.

should i be happy?

answer : absolutely no.

Chemistry make-up lesson at 3 is gon murder me.

50 mins in class was like a trip to hell.

what more a 2-hour make up lesson.

still, i should never whine right.

i know.

neurotic cow.

i suddenly have the urge to eat soto ayam.

soto ayam is like Chocolate Freckles Peak @ Swensens to me right now.

heavenly.

why must i crave for soto ayam now seyy.

of all things to eat.

why not cookies.

blurghss.

smalam was an ok-leh-tahan saturday.

woke up early then rushed to HPB to have my backbone checked.

the doctor said my spine is..bent? eww.

creepy.

well, anyhoos - i`m to eat lots and lots and lots of yoghurt and milk and cheese.

anything that contains calcium.

are chocolates part of the calcium family..?

hmms.

so i was bored.

decided to call Yan from the hospital last night.

dah excited nak dgr suare die.

skali...

realised i din`t bring enough coins with me.

aku mcm : kenape bodoh sgt ni amaaallll.

so ya.

i dint get to talk to him last night and my prepaid was running low.

like sheesh.

and so. i wish to pacify and pamper myself with tv shows and whatever`s left to eat in the kitchen before a trip to the hospital.

yes, nenek is still in the hospital.

24th day.

sighs. hope she gets well soon.

toodles. toodles. toodles.

k bye.

2005-04-02T00:47:00.000-08:00

i love Fridays, but yesterday was an exceptionally lovely Friday.
cause i gota spend it with my only one.

met Ross and Shamir at the MRT stat and then made our way to PS.
The Eye 10.
it`s a ~~really~~ nice movie.
but i don`t really understand what happened in the end.
anyways, it`s worth watching i suppose.

we then walked around and camwhored the night through. (yes, all uploaded.)
decided to walk to Esplanade.
BUT. we kept walking in circles when actually Esplanade is only 15-20 mins from PS?
heh. we finally spot the big durian but it was such a pity, Ross had to go home already.
so, Snow White and her prince went home leaving me and mine to walk to the Esplanade.
that`s when we saw Ifran..that metalhead.
(it was nice bumping into you, Mr Italy. thanks for the flyers btw! and yes, i heed your advice and did not get any dressing down from my parents when i got home.. hee.)

long story short - yesterday was well-spent with the greatest pple on planet Earth.
Ross was sweet - as always.
Shamir was nice.
Yan was forever smiling and laughing.
great.

___

some of the pictures.

__Mr Shamir entertaining himself with songs. heh.

__Mr Shafian. yes, he loves the camera more than me. haha.

__the guys.

__the gurls.

__Ross and Shamir.

__Amal and Yan.

2005-03-27T19:47:00.000-08:00

pardon my absence.

well. im backkk. hah. big deal riggghhttt. right.

after a weeek!

i`m feeling good - not wanting to be reminded that tomorrow`s a Monday.

the day i so very much hate.

i hate school days = every weekday except holidays.

get it? gewd.

i should be in the hosp right now.

but i`m gon have dinner with my Social Studies source-based assignment later followed by a 30 mins supper with my Malay karangan.

yes, i`m apparently a busy girl these days people.

i got My Only One to sing for me over the phone just now.

after a few minutes of laughs, "nyanyi-je-la"(s) and "ala-ok-la-tu"(s).

told u he`s my Ryan Cabrera. (ahh. roll your eyes people. go ahead. teehee.)

i still can never believe that he said one of the girls in Fear Factor (last night) is hot?

define "hot" for me please? heh.

and not forgetting, he mentioned Sandra Bullock is his GF whom he treasures alot.

hah. me? i said Freddie Prinze Jr is mine.

see, we love to kill each other with a lil help from jealousy.

still, i need him like a bad habit.

yessh. i heart hiiimmm. teehee.

mid year exams. i was told by some teacher (forgot who exactly.) that the mid year exams is in a mth time.

blardie hell. just ended common test 2 weeks ago and now - mid year`s around the corner.

then again, what do i expect eyy.

O Levels is gon freak me out. i swear Maths is gon be hell.

sheesh.

mr lonely by akon. how cute. and depressing.

isnt it. it should be sung in a funeral.

anyhoos, i heart the track. its addictive.

___

ouh ouh ouh.

mama got me a pair of black Chucks last Friday.

gosh.

and a black tee from FOX! i heart her more.

heh.

and she promised to get me chocolates later at night.

*clap hands*

booo.

ive got nothing more to blog.

adios pple.

and miss me.

teehee.

fyi,

i heart My Only One.

toodles.

2005-03-18T17:54:00.000-08:00

pictures are up (chalet pix).

so go take a look at it if u wana.

___

the holidays is coming to an end.

ouhh suckky.

haish-es.

___

akak is out. to SWENSENS.

yes, like *&^%$#@!~.

k, aku ouchy sikit bile die dpat klua TODAY.

and i wasn`t allowed to.

but, nvm. its ok.

...cool.

ahh.

hello mama.

*wave both hands frantically*

i know ur reading my blog.

HAH.

blueks. and i dont care. ill still type whatever i want to.

*grins*

___

whopeedo. i`m having a silly grin pasted on my face and i have no idea why.
heh. ok. im thinking of my only one.
ouh gossshhh.
i.heart.him.to.bits.and.pieces.

im glad he`s mine.

ok amal. stop the crap.
*slaps forehead*

so we`re going to visit nenek at the hospital tonight.

yeha.

and im bringing my homework along.

ok. gota go now. ill update again. (i hope)

daa pple.

(and mama, stop staring at the comp screen and continue with your work.)

2005-03-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

ok.

new layout AGAIN. heeee..

i know. the layout`s pretty messy.

(if u pple notice it la k.)

waiting for my dearest akak to finish siap-ing.

haish. as always.

she`ll be the last to get ready cause she so very much loves dressing up.

hah. right kak? yeahs?

ahhh.

k. im so crapping.

and have nothing to do but wait and listen to some songs.

blurghs.

ouh. so..

i just found out that Friendster`s deleting some tetimonials.

no wonder macam so lain gitu.

hmmms.

so, apparently, amalina has nothing else to blog but am just filling in the words to these blanks.

k pple.

i better get my arse off the chair and eyes off the computer.

gotta go now.

take care pple.

and have a sweet5 enjoyable weekend.

*smiles*

im feelinnggg gooodddd on this Saturday!!

wheees.

2005-03-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

friendster`s like so sick right now?
notice that people?
i mean.
i was browsing thru pples` profiles and realise that some testimonials dint appear?
hmms.

anyhoos, better make this short.
life`s good.
school`s bad.
but.
a good thing the one week hols is here.
feeling good now pple. feeling gooodddd.

andd.
will be having a chalet with the gurls (yes, and guys laa.) on 16th, 17th and 18th march.
heh.
most will be staying over night.
exclude me please.
im not.
awws.

ahh.
tomorrow`s Saturday.
and its Efy`s 17th birthday.
hee.
happy birthday dear gurlfren.
sorie we couldn`t celebrate it tomorrow.
lets have a feast on Wednesday ok babe.
(im gon give u a big hug on wednesday!! haha.)

okayyy.
so i have nothing else to blog about.
heh.
my head`s empty now.
sheesh.

so take care pple and keep those tags coming in!
*smiles*

.i heart my only one.

*teehee*

2005-03-06T14:55:00.001-08:00

friendster is soooo slow.

i feel like throwing this comp out of the window this very second.

haish.

to that certain

GIRL.

im really pretty annoyed, not least because this is a tiresomely familiar territory.

"jgn samekan amalina yang dulu

dgn amalina yang skrg"

if u think u know me, think again.

u have no slightest clue.

so please do not judge me.

anddd.

i read that tag on my tagboard.

to that "*^^*",

sorry lady.

but he`s mine.

and if really want him, please pass me first.

*smiles*

2005-03-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

.my life on a plate.

hmms.
been a while since i last blogged.
miss me pple?
ahh. i sense nods somewhere.
hehh.

blame it on school and art and the hidden modem. (get it?)
and yes, on my pure laziness as well.
but anyways, im here today.
to rant AGAIN.
winks.

its been a hectic week.
art was taking a lot of my time.
serious shyt.
had to stayback till late in the evening to do art.
and its damn tidious.
danny and i sure wasted 2 periods of our art lessons on wednesday cause we had to stretch another piece of cloth to a larger frame.
the teacher made me want to break her legs.
ouh art.

pimples have been spotted building houses on my face.
ouh life.
it scares me alot that if i catch my reflection in shop windows, i tend to scream with horror rather than tip my head to one side and make measured, composed observations like always.
ok. u know i lied.
im so wanting to get rid of these pimples.

anyhoos, went out with Danny and Efy last evening.
hee. i love being ard them.
we were camwhores last evening.
took a number of pix. and enjoyed ourselves.

tho baba were not happy with the fact that i got home late.
need i elaborate pple? yes, shake ur heads now, cause i dont want to either.
*smiles*

oo. wana take a look at the pictures taken last evening?

go to "gallery" ok pple.

and now.

i gtg.

*smiles*

have a lovely weekend pple.

i.heart.my.only.one.to.bits.and.pieces.

2005-02-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

.sunday morning.

heylo there.

good mo(u)rning.

except that it`s not for me.

bought speakers for my computer last evening.

BUT.

no songs can be heard.

sheesh.

anyhoos, Last Tear Drop did perfectly good yesterday for the gig?

whee.

heh.

dear msged me and said he did good.

*yayness*

still, i feel bad cause i was not there for him.

aww-z.

ill make up to it the next time eyy.

and Ross, im so jealous u guys gota take pictures with Pug Jelly?!

hee.

woke up early this Sunday morning to fix the speakers.

but unfortunately, aint working.

soo.

guess ill be doing Art and practising on my Mathematics later eyy.

mama said we`ll be going out for lunch somewhere. hmms.

ouh.

went out to Arab Street with mama, alang, et, abg Ayul and Cik Kamsin yesterday.

ET bought the cloth for raya already. heh. *suke ah die*

then, in the evening, et went out with Has.

soo. left me alonneee. with abg Ayul at least.

akak was out with her guy.

yeshh. Saturday was pretty boring for me.

otw to Funan It Mall, i told mama that i should have went to the gig.

and mama smiled.

see... haish. smlm bile tanye die marah. nari senyum lak aii.

tomorrow`s Monday.

sgt membosankan.

assembly some more?

hmms.

and o.

the O Levels results?!

gosh. scaree aint it.

ms seah said probably he sec5s and sec4 exp classes have to stayback for a while.

sheesh.

so to pple taking their results tomorrow, especially to friends (u know who u are pple) all the best eyy.

2005-02-26T11:13:00.000-08:00

.worst comes to worst.

ok.

some shythead actually hacked my friendster.

second account.

ouh LIFE!

pple, u read me.

add me again.

and to that numbut who hacked my account and changed my gawddamn profile,

i never said i`d take this lying down.

AND.

shythead, that`s not how u spell my bf`s name.

a fucktard shall always remain a fucktard.

ADD ME AGAIN PPLE.

AND DELETE THAT OLD ONE.
sheesh.

tragic issues.

and no.

im not attending my bf`s gig today.

dont ask.

i shall not have it answered.

gosh. i wana be there for him.

but i cant.

*blurghs*

and he understands.

see.

how can i not love him?!

*smiles*

anyhoos, to the band, all the best guys.

and especially to my man.

*heh*

2005-02-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

.die bitch die.

kaoz.

if this entry is full of vocab and spelling errors, please dont mind.

cause im in no mood to perfect it.

k. first and foremost, to those who has added me in msn.

my OLD account, which is tyrannical_gal@hotmail.com,

go have it delete and block it.

cause its been HACKED.

yes numbnuts, its been HACKED.

by i duno who.

ok?

so. please add me again.

back to whatever there is to be blogged.

sheesh. pardon my rude remarks.

im pissed ok pple.

life`s been so-so.

lets not elaborate.

but anyhoos, sports day was awesome.

the runners brought glory to the class.

yayness.

and yes, pple, if u noticed, ive changed my layout yet again.

i did it on my own la ok.

hmms.

tomorrow`s my Mr Ryan Cabrera`s first gig with his band.

and hes "ouh-so-excited".

heee.

im excited for him too.

*winks*

so pple, go on.

show your support la eyy.

its at The Bar.

klau nak tau lebih lanjut, p kat ROSS nye blog.

hehe. her blog ade flyer.

*hee. sorry Ross. my photobucket aint working today*

but aiyahs.

tak sure if i can make it tomorrow.

i`ll plead with mama again.

and he said he`ll talk to baba if all else fails.

*smiles*

haish.

shall not go on anymore.

so long and good night pple.

i heart "Mr Ryan" to bits and pieces.

*kisses*

am glad you`re mine.

2005-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

.not killing me.

its saturday morning.

and none of my family members are talking to me.

none = nil.

not even my sis.

well kak, if ur reading this, im not dying ah k.

worst comes to worst, ill survive on my own, in my room, with my own supply of chocolates and choc milk.

ill not die.

no one reasoned with me.

no one asked.

except for baba.

who asked me nicely what`s going on.

mama?

she yelled at me.

right in my gawddamn face.

talked to me harshly.

as for my 'ouh-sweet-innocent-sister', she ignored me.

gave me the cold shoulder.

ouh kak, why the hell am i not surprised?

because its SO YOU.

klau ikotkan hati la kan KAKAK KU YANG AMAT TERSAYANG, i would wana say this right in YOUR face,

ROT IN HELL.

but why dint i?

cause.

obviously, u have your guardian angel protecting you and as for me, ill die being hurled at.

ouh. u know the situation well dear sis.

secondly, i still respect u as my elder sister.

so be thankful for that.

i know it was my mistake.

last night, i shouldnt have got home so late and all.

but, did mama or anyone besides baba even asked?

like maybe, sit beside me and just say "dek.. asal alek mlm sgt? kan tak baik bla3.."

i would have appreciated that sey.

i would.

instead, i was being yelled at, and not given a chance to even explain.

maybe some reasoning-s and negotiations would have helped.

ALOT. TREMENDOUSLY.

and i thought mama would stop there.

BUT.

she went on.

comparing me to akak.

of how Hakim would send akak home and all if shes late.

i have my own reasons.

why would i even want Mr Ryan to get into my parents good books just so they will have a good impression on him?

yes, i very much would want Mr Ryan to be in my parents good books and not have any doubts about him.

but hello.

im not the kinda girl who would ask my boyfriend to send me home, meet my parents and bla3.

not yet.

not when im sure we`re on the right track, and is sure that`s what we`re really gon do. to be together.

ahh. forget it.

anyhoos, last night was tremendously fun.

Went out with Yan, Ross, Shamir, Leti and.. err. i forgot Leti`s bf`s name. teehee.

to PS.

watched Constantine.

yayness.

its a nice movie to watch ah.

seriously.

then went to the esplanade rooftop.

chilly as always.

made a move at ard 10 at night.

he sent me home and yes, he bought me chocolatesss.

wheee.

he bought me a box of fererro and two Dove chocolate bars.

milk chocolate and hazelnuts.

and surprisingly, both were my favourites.
*winks*

i was supposed to give him the chocolate cookies i baked at home.

but cause last night mama was already in her extremely furious mood, we decided to meet up today in the evening before he leaves for work.

hee. yes, i baked choclate cookies for him.

"mould" it into his name. which has 7 letters excluding the initials.

it took me hours, mind you. so he better say he like it. or else.

bwahaha.

tapi kan..

aku takot mama tak bagi klua!!!!

ah. serious shyt ah.

klau tak bagi, on Monday evening la jawabnye.

kesian diee. hee.

ouh. and did i mention Ross and Shamir is such a cute cute couple.

heh. seriously.

Ross is extremely sweet, and we click. Leti was on the quiet side. but shes nice too.

okiee.

gota go now pple.

im so slacking and monday`s my common test.

*blurghs*

2005-02-18T00:06:00.000-08:00

.180205.

i heart him.
he hearts me.

__
he + me = us.
__

goodnight pple.

2005-02-17T16:02:00.000-08:00

.my unintended choice.

helo there.
i just reached home from sch 30 mins ago.
and am doing nothing but blogging.
im lazee, i know.

baba was absolutely out of his mind last night when he asked me this -

"adek, u isap rokok eh?!"

wahaha.
how weird.
of course its not true and i laughed.
sheesh.
no wonder they say mothers know best.

mama`s helping me with the choc cookies tonight.
yayness of all yays.
hee.
if there`s anyone wondering what the cookies are for, *hmms*.
lets just wait till tomorrow comes.
and ill let u pple in on the details.
*smiles*

and so.
monday is already the first two papers of the common test.
and amalina is still slacking.
serious shyt.
haish.

a good thing that algebra wouldnt be included in the paper.
or ill be in double serious shyt.
and ms choo said the question on vectors is gawddamn hard.
and so is the one on LOCI.
haish. i need lotsa good luck to pass these subjects.
please GOD.

okayyy.
its 4 in the evening and i still hasnt had my lunch.
so toodles now pple.
take care and have fun.

2005-02-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

.heartpain laaa.

ok.

skrg ni.

tgh sakit hati sikit.

dgn frenster.

yang sememangnye menguji kesabaran dan tahap keimanan ku.

k takpe.

aku sabar.

anyways, heats was pretty ok i guess.

we got 3rd in place.

am praying and hoping to get through to the finals.

*cross fingers*

school was ok today.

mdm lee wasnt around, thats the best of all.

but as always, ms seah`s lesson bored me.

to death.

hee.

ok.

i think i better pamper myself by watching tv now. and wash all disturbing thoughts away.

bye everyone.

*smiles*

2005-02-15T16:10:00.000-08:00

.you crossed my mind.

im so hating my hair now.

ok.

i dont.

but i had a bad hair day today.

blurghs.

sighs.

tomorrow`s the sports heats.

phobia -

holding the baton ; and running with it.

at last year`s sports day, i dropped that blardie baton.

and yes, it was humiliating, mind you.

please, lets pray and hope it will never happen again.

and ouh.

fana is running 100m for our class.

shes so nervous. and scared.

i know she`ll read this.

*go fana. go fana. go fana go.*

lol. amal is lame.

wattheheck.

toodles now everyone.

have a great week ahead.

2005-02-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

.i`m going bonkers.

to Haikel.

im sorry.

im sorry i was rude to you.

im sorry i was so harsh.

im sorry about whatever i said last night.

im sorry.

im so so so so sorry.

please forgive me cause i wouldnt wana lose a friend.

____

*dear Mr Ryan Cabrera*

In your eyes

Like my first time

That I caught fire

Just stay with me

Lay with me

2005-02-13T21:46:00.000-08:00

.roses.

hey-o.

just got home.

from weekend grocery shopping at NTUC.

spent a bomb there.

sheesh.

it felt funny.

at TM.

there were surprisingly, a whole lot of couples.

with roses.

RED, i shall say.

and love-shaped chocolates.

the moment we reached NTUC, there was this booth selling roses for Valentines.

ouh red roses.

then, ade this mamat ni kan..

beli fererro rocher and a bouquet of red roses.

mama said "ni mesti da ade gerl la kan dek.."

ouh. how romantic.

anyhoos.

i`m blardie happy.

bought lotsa chocolates for me myself and i - and paid by mama, herself and just her.

hee.

ok, no.

i`ll share with akak and the rest laa.

im not that cruel la eyy.
*winks*

soooo -

wont be going out with mr Ryan tomorrow.

hee.

Friday would be it then.

and no, he dint kill me.

*lol*

and so.

hes able to sms again now.

im ouh-so-happy.

hee.

tomorrow`s monday.

and theres assembly.

at 2.

for 50 hellish minutes.

ouh.

entertain me someone.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY PPLE.

(for tomorrow that is)

2005-02-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

.i love the weekend.

good morning pple.

the weekend`s here!

*jumping around*

its 11:13 in the morning and i`m still sleepy.

can`t help it la.

i slept at 2+ in the morning and woke up at 8+.

*beaming proudly*

wahah.

i deserve some credit ok?

cause its not like i always wake up before 9 on SATURDAYS.

sheesh.

will be going out with mama and akak later.

duno where to.

but hopefully to Geylang or Bugis.

cause i`m craving for the Soto Ayam there.

haiyahx.

ooo.

i wana get a new pair of jeans.

super low cut.

light blue would be nice.

i wouldnt want it tight.

a lil loose would be great la.

BUT -

my wallet`s dried up now.

argh.

guess ill have to start saving AGAIN.

*blurghs*

was thinking about this Monday.

Valentines eyy.

its a MONDAY gawddammit.

sheesh.

and welliiiiieeee.

i`ll be going out with mr Ryan that day, after sch.

which means, i have to rush back home (not that its really a problem), and get my hmwk done; my art sketches especially in like.. an hour`s time?

gosh.

that`s near impossible.

mayb i should call Mr Ryan up and tell him that Monday`s a bad day and we should make it on a Friday instead?

ouh. he wont kill me would he?

i certainly hope not.

argh.

my eyes are in great pain AGAIN.

mama is so gon kill me if she hears this.

shyts ah.

i think its the contact lenses.

or something`s just wrong with my eyes.

*cries in pain*

2005-02-12T00:24:00.000-08:00

.sunspots and raindrops.

okeyyy.

so today was PERFECCCTTT!

i love fridays.

ouh yes i do.

went to Orchard w Et and akak just now.

headed straight to Far East at 5+ and i bought a new black belt!

i love it.

yayness of all yays.

then, walked ard to look for my wristbands.

bought two of which cost me less than $10.

i loikkkeee.

later, headed to FOX and i bought myself a longsleeve black tee.

i can proudly say i am in love with it.

ET got herself a tee as well.

and for her prince too.

*aww.*

ouh.

and yes, akak got herself a green tee.

it looks perfectly good on her.

before heading back home, we sat at the "Taka`s Garden"

and took pictures.

hee.

click [here]

had fun.

everyone`s happy with someone.

ET`s happily back with Has.

akak`s madly in love with Hakim.

and myself?

welliiieee.

for me to know and you to find out eyy.

ouh yesh.

went to PS and Istana on the second day of CNY.

(100205).

and snapped more pictures.go check it out

[here]

gota go now pple.

guess its time to get to bed.

toodles now.

*good night "mr Ryan".

``only one`` eyy.*

2005-02-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

.it`s been awhile.

wednesday`s here.

ahh.

so fast.

time sure flies faster than the bullet train.

can`t believe that the weekend`s 2 days away.

Arash Naufal`s the name.

Kak Yan`s newborn babyboy i mean.

he is so cute.

has blonde hair.

and fair skin.

and he smiles everytime mama blow in his face.

he weighs less than 3kg.

and is so fragile and small.

i just wana kiss him and never let go.

can i?

=).

hee.

my Mr Ryan Cabrera is unable to sms me.

haish.

*slaps forehead*

___

When you call my name it's like a little prayer

I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there

In the midnight hour, I can feel your power

Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there.

goes out to

-my only one-

___

2005-02-08T14:25:00.000-08:00

.melting.in.YOUR.eyes.

so the CNY`s celebration was bo-ring.

absolutely.

i could only hear haiz-es and more haiz-es from everywhere.

except for laughters from some corners.

*The Used rocks my socks. gaah!!*

will be going out in the evening later.

where to?

gon see Kak Yan`s new babyboy.

i`m so excited!

his name is Arash something something.

(nice eyy)

cik Yati said he looks like an Iran child.

biase la.

mak bapak lawa. mesti anak lawa kan.

"Ryan Cabrera" just made my day with his previous sms.

whee of all whees.

bwahah.

marry me

stay the same

lie to me

and try to say you never will

2005-02-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

.opposite attracts.

bear with me pple.

this is gon be LOOONNNNGG.

lets start off with last Saturday, 050205.

SATURDAY -

Kak Ila`s wedding.

wana see the pix?

click [here.]

AND [here.]

all else was great.

we welcomed our new cousin, Abg Faizal.

seeing kak Ila in her wedding gown made me go "when will it be my turn?"

hee. ala. ckp je pe.

bukan aku nak kawin skrg.

060205

SUNDAY -

ok.

sunday was the big day.

where we had to do alot of walking and smiling and stuff.

well, everything went smoothly as planned.

just that everyone was so tired. but it paid off.

i saw a schmate.

im not sure of her name.

one petite laydee with a sweet smile.

hee.

ur reading this, pls tag me again eyy? heh.

anyways, want more pix?

click [here.]

today?

it was ok i guess.

i had a slight fever in sch.

i kept sneezing and my head was so heavy.

i just wanted to rest it on the table the whole day.

well, lucky for me, Danny, Lina and Fana took care of me in sch.

Fana, especially, for her packets of tissue. hee.

what else.

as always, "Ryan" was hot.

hee.

his smile makes my fever go away.

bwahaha. dramatic sak aku.

but wellie.

i gota talk to him on the phone tadi.

and as always, he made my day.

sorry ah.

nari emo sikit ah.

sorry ye.

*blueks*

maths test was ouchy.

i could do the first parts.

but when it came to "angle APB = 90 degress so that bla bla bla"

i went "wth."

but then. the last 5 mins, i suddenly thought of the possible answers.

too late then.

shucks.

and cause i dint feel so gd, i couldn`t reli concentrate.

haish.

pls let me pass my maths test.

anyways, akak is so blardie lucky sey.

Hakim surprised her tadi after sch.

he fetched her home and gave her a necklace.

and a card.

so sweeet.

akak went home and was abt to cry.

SHE`S OVERLY EMOTIONAL.

(dont u dare deny it numbnut! heheee.)

and she said "adek. hakim kate die tkle celebrate Valentines Day. And surprised me in sch tadi. he gave me this."

(taking out a red box tide in red ribbon from SK jewellery.)

and i went "ouh gawwwwwddddddd."

it was soooo awesome.

so sweet.

so nice.

so romanticcc!!!

i wana be in her shoes pls?

and let Mr Ryan Cabrera be Hakim?

PLEASE?

ouh.

besok half day.

will be dismissed at 10.

yayness of all yays.

but still, i have Maths period lerr.

blardie hell.

well.

i shall end this here.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL CELEBRATING.

2005-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

.shall we dance?.

a great movie.

Shall We Dance i mean.

its pretty good.

so after 2 years of friendship and 2 coincidential bumps, we met again last night.

Zul i mean.

finally eyy Zul?

*smiles*

anyways, had fun with him.

nice guy to be around eyy.

*thanks for the movie. the next time, itll be on me.*

so Kak Ila`s getting married today?

yayness.

im all excited to see her in the wedding gown.

oops. then again. she`ll be wearing them tomorrow.

haiyahx.

i`ve seen her bedroom. and i`ve fallen deeply in love with it.

(ill get back to "Ryan" as soon as i get over Kak Ila`s bedroom eyy)

its superb-ly done.

whee. i wana have my bedroom decorated that way when i get married.

(ye, aku tau. aku mina kawin2. korng tak suke tkpe, aku suke pe! *lol*)

argh.

akak is yelling the lyrics to some Kris Dayanti`s song.

and mind you, shes making a mess out of the diva`s song ok.

wth.

and some more leh tanye "sedap kan suare akak?"

*stop it akak.*

ade ke patot smlm aku receive msg dari seseorang ni yg menuduh aku rampas matair die?

adoooi.

cik adek oi.

klau ye pon, go feed urself with the right information before resorting to this la kan.

and if u were to ask nicely, id have been ok with it.

but your definition of "nice" seems to closer to sarcasm plus rude rather than "just asking" as you`ve said.

haish.

anyhoos.

at last.

we`ve got a chalet for the March holidays.

its at Changi.

yayness of all yays.

tho its not exactly as convenient as at Pasir Ris, hope itll not be boring ah.

aite.

guess i`ll end this entry now.

or u pple will be bored with my rants. heh.

toodles pple.

have a great weekend.

2005-02-04T14:31:00.000-08:00

.spoon feed my heart please.

this something is for that someone.

.you.know.who.you.are.

first - i`m not ignoring you and i agree that ignorance aint the best solution.

second - i`m sorie i hurt your feelings but i never meant to do that, i swear.

third - yes. i went quiet. but it has nothing to do about you. or me. or us.

fourth - i do not have SOMEONE right NOW.

fifth - i still am not ready for a relationship. u know that too.

sixth - you`re wrong. i never lied to you.

seventh - i do care about your feelings. do you care abt mine.

eighth - perhaps age do matters. but it doesnt sum up to anything, does it?

___

i come every night to watch him.

i want to take his hand and take him away.

take him home.

___

.so.i.write.you.another.love.song.

.but.cant.make.up.the.word.

2005-02-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

.when all else fails.

the universe was only temporary, when u put it into a large enough time frame.

i dint want to trust "temporary".

right now, i`m resisting the urge to hold my head in my hands and moan.

i just come to realise that the more i resist his friendly overtures, the more polite he acted, as if i was a very exclusive club he was trying to get into.

i thought i should stop rewarding my rudeness and quit acting like a paparazzo trying to coax a picture of Princess Anne (whoever she is).

this is the trouble :

i`d start assessing and judging, even though i`d promised myself i wouldn`t.

so far, i`d resisted the fatal next step - MAKING SUGGESTIONS - but my tongue was getting callused from biting back the words.

my mistake was in convincing myself that if you really want things to work out, if your intentions are good, then things will turn out all right.

not that i necessarily document this silly philosophy of mine with objective evidence.
but by and large i`d believed it anyways.

whoever said life is fair.

---

.almost there.

Did I hear you right

'cause I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears 'cause your only almost here

I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words

Dazed and shattered how it hurts

Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you

You're almost here

Well I never knew how far behind i`d left you

And when I hold you

You`re almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears 'cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here

---

2005-02-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

.love and forebearance.

dear Valentine,

this year, i am unable to celebrate you.

i`m ouh so not expecting you.

i think that on your birthday, 14th February, i shall go to school and drown myself in books.

and i shall spend my evening talking to my Mr Ryan Cabrera, whom i wish will not have a date as well.

dear Valentine,

why must you "come" on a Monday.

i wish that you will go away and come back only when i found my Mr Right.

ouh Valentine.

ouh people.

i`m so wondering why u are reading this entry which is full of crap.

i`m so crapping.

and i dont care.

hehh.

i wana be with my Mr Ryan Cabrera can or not? heee.

2005-01-31T16:56:00.000-08:00

.the beautiful letdown.

if it`s like "AN ARROW THROUGH YOUR HEART",

it`s so much worse for me.

u have no idea what it was like for me.

NO IDEA.

NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST.

to Salina,

if you`re mad at him, -

SLIT HIS WRISTS, KICK HIS BALLS AND FEED IT TO THE BIRDS AT THE OPEN FIELD NEAR YOUR AREA.

at least, it`s him who bleeds, and not you.

and please dont start slitting your wrists no more.

cause it`s not worth it babe.

_maybe i should just kill myself rather than read those words he has to say.

ahh.

for the first time in my entire life, i actually miss my Ryan Cabrera.

ahh. he know who he is.

blurghs.

2005-01-28T21:46:00.000-08:00

.the last?.

i`m so addicted to One Last.

yes - by Taufik, the Singapore Idol.

whoah.

i love the song.

and the singer as well.

hee.

today was superb.

exceptionally good.

went shopping with akak tadi.

first was to Bishan Junction 8, where we had to collect the shoes we reserved at the Fila outlet.

then, mama needed us to go over to her workplace.

since it was still early, we walked around and i had my very late lunch at KFC.

ouh.

we went to Sembawang Music Centre there to get Taufik`s cd.

yes - it goes to show i`m not his biggest fan eyy since i bought it later than most pple.

still - we bought it ok.

while waiting for ET and mama, i couldn`t help but fall in love with the photos in Taufik`s cd cover.

adoooiii.

made our way to PS in the late evening.

mama shopped like there`s no tomorrow.

she bought bags from Fila and some tees for akak, baba and myself.

whee.

i simply love the black tee mama bought for us.

*i love u mama.*

i eyed a long-sleeve blouse there, and tried it on, but i looked awful in it.

so ET decided to have it.

BUT.

its a pity the colour she wanted was out of stock.

*aww ET, nanti kite p shopping lagi k. wink wink*

at least she got herself an umbrella and a bag!! hee.

i`m listening to One Last for the millionth time now.

gosh.

the lyrics are meaningful.

ahh.

i can hear akak`s PLEADINGS from here. sheesh.

she`s basically persuading mama and baba to get us a new digicam.

yes, with the new functions and that 6.0 mega pixel thingy.

heh.

she`s so good at this.

hee.

blurghs.

bo-ring.

"We both know.

it`s better if we just let it go."

2005-01-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

.uneasy silence.

cut out my heart and watch me bleed, people.

i guess it was a matter of time.

somehow i know things wouldn`t go the way we planned.

i was proven right - yet again.

i`m really trying to hang onto my sorrows which is being stoked by pain and pity.

what must i say to make things better?

or what i should NOT say.

stress? or do i "enjoy thinking"?

they say that stress is aging, in which case my insides feel like i`m double my years now.

i`m well-aware that i`m walking down a boulevard full of regrets and sorrows.

but would anyone care.

i doubt so.

the more things change, the more they stay the same.

"you know i do too. u know that. and please remember."

2005-01-27T16:08:00.000-08:00

i read my tagboard.

and am pissed.

pissed with the dumbfcuks who posed as me.

pissed.

and pple keep thinking it was me.

me?

hell-o.

ME?

why the hell would i want to diss my own friends for no gawdamn reason?

forget it.

i shall not continue with this no more.

and if you pple noticed, ive changed my layout. yayness of all yays.

*smiles*

2005-01-25T18:14:00.000-08:00

i hate the logic of boys which is heartbreaking in its simplicity.
sometimes they talk out of their arse.
wth.
and, - it confuses me.
but, trying the reassuring track is a good way of putting the disturbing thoughts to an end.

*sigh*
aku stress.
aku stress pasal Maths aku,
aku stress pasal Art theme aku,
aku stress pasal pimple baru yang tertimbul kat dahi aku ni skrg.

ouh.
today`s Iffah`s 6th birthday.
Happy Birthday To You.
*smooches and hugs*

went to Swensens at Airport last night.
i had CFP (choc freck peak) as always, and had fun.
Hafiy was sooo cute.
main tembak2 ngn die.
and he kept going "coonng! coong!"
which means "shoot shoot?" haha.
hes such an eye candy.
i would want a baby boy when i get married.
lol.

will end this entry with pics.

_me and my baby gurl. the apple of my eye. wakaka. u know i lied. thats me and Shahira.

_us. with Bariah.

_and again.

_me and my besties.

_us all. after a trip to Bariah`s place.

_that`s us at Danny`s place.

_us again.

---

2005-01-20T19:37:00.000-08:00

whee.

i`m feeling good today.

was dismissed early from school cause it`s eve of Hari Raya Haji.

yays.

before that, met Fadhli at the void deck with Danny, Efy and Eri.

heh. he`s one changed man.

but he`s still that same old Fadhli with a nasty temper. lol.

went to the shops with mama tadi.

bought chocs, as always.

on our way back, the guys were still hanging around the void deck.

tak balek2 pulak tu.

and i saw Nilam.

i duno why pple has the impression that i hate her.

i don`t la.

i can`t find a valid reason to hate her.

although we did have some "crisis" in the past when i was with Adi.

but, hello - emphasise on the word PAST please pple.

hrm.

besok Hari Raya Haji.

yayness.

which means bsk tgk kambing2.

i don`t think we`ll be going to Ghufran this year.

some other mosque ah. north or west side of the island? perhaps ah.

Kak Ita will be there as well.

which means, i`ll get to meet my darlinks, Hafiy and Ifah.

yayness of the yays.

thinking of Hafiy makes me want to get married, have my own babies and live happily ever after.

heh.

i`m naive, i know.

i`m well aware that such things only happens in fairy tales.

but no harm dreaming and fantasizing pe.

anyways.

here`s presenting two versions of me myself and i eating LJS fries at Tamp Mall.

pics thanks to Haikel.

i was eating and looking awfully ugly. yes. i know. bluek and blueks again.

looking away. can`t believe Haikel managed to snap this sey. haha. he does wonders ah.

ok da cukop.

heee.

2005-01-19T05:06:00.000-08:00

regrets and romance.

he swore i would never find a guy who will love me more than he do.

and i know that`s true.

someday, i`d regret making him leave.

someday, i`d regret making him cry.

someday.

and he said i`d better know that i`m special to him.

i know.

and that i should cry my heart out knowing i just lost a guy who was willing to give his all to a girl.

best believe i will.

* and i guess i shall be your `perempuan melayu terakhir`. *

loneliness awaits.

2005-01-18T15:32:00.000-08:00

just got home from sch.
penat seyy.

English lesson was extremely boring.
to such an extent that i find reading more interesting.

was bloghopping when i stumble upon Shamir`s blog.
and in case any of you lovebirds, (Ross or Shamir) is reading this, yes, i`ll be going to the gig eyy.
Yan punye pasal, sanggup punye la.
heh.

2005-01-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

my previous entry da hilang.

duno what happened.. and now its GONE.

nvm.

it was slightly too nasty actually.

sch was good.

urm.

tellingly, no, it`s not.

school is NEVER good.

its always boring with some boring periods and endless naggings from teachers.

but still, do i have a choice here.

and to add to it, assembly was pretty lame.

some dance thingy.

but the movements are pretty wow-ish ah.

other than that, it`s mediocre?

danny said on the 29th jan gig, kak Dalilah`s frens are performing as well.

so another reason to go.

and yes. at last, i got to talk to Yan on the fone yest.

*woo hoo!*

so he officially asked me to attend the gig.

*wonders*.

i suppose i`ll turn up.

Haikel`s performing at a hiphop gig this Saturday.

i dont think i`ll be able to attend tho.

heh.

i know. i`ve NEVER attended hiphop gig EVER in my ENTIRE LIFE.

yes, go on. laugh. laugh. laugh.

but seriously,

me and hiphop?! bad bad match.

but still, i`ll try la for Haikel`s sake.

am still thinking which theme should i choose for my O Level arts?

Escape. (yes ABG ifran, i decided to consider this one, thx to you.) or ;

Newborn.

or just something else?

oh ya.

we did batik during art lesson just now.

i paired up with Danny.

and we did stupid stuff that others do.

heh.

anyways, the waxing part is hard cause its pretty tidious.

but the colouring is pretty easy compared to canvas painting.

so i guess i`ll just stick to canvas painting instead of trying batik.

orang2 ganas mcm aku tkkn ade jodoh ngn batik dan wax.

2005-01-14T23:03:00.000-08:00

i know.

i blogged twice today.

can`t help it pple.

i love sharing my excitement with everyone.

muakakaka. sungguh tak klaka, amalina.

anyways, i saw Ridwan, my ex pri sch fren, kat dlm MRT to CT Hall.

danny said he`s cute. no surprise, he is la.

heh. tak sangka aku "bercinta" dgan die 6 tahun yg lalu.

lol.

then made our way to Cineleisure and.. dint expect Taufik (bakal suami ku! *mimpi saja la*) to be there - Sembawang Music Centre.

he was *whoah*.

hot babey hot.

tapi, sudahla kan, aku ni pon tkmo jadi certified groupie yang ikot2 perkembangan hidup Taufik tu.

just happy to see him actually (huh. mcm kwn lame je..)

later, we went to Taka, Wisma and Wheelock.

Efy was one happy laydee when she got the Roxy bag she had been eyeing for.

we decided to go to Starbucks near Wheelock but it was packed, so we made a move to TM`s CoffeeBean instead.

and we saw ZulAzri. he works there.

chatted with him for a lil while and later, walked around TM.

that was when we saw our classmates - the guys i mean.

Wan, Mat, Fadli together with Khai and Vincent.

diorg baru balek dari jamming rupenye.

dint know that Mat play the drums.

whee.

*hi-5!*

heh.

saw Lily at Orchard`s MRT Station.

she was on her way to meet Dee2.

aww. one cute couple eyy.

would pple say that if i was still Adi`s gerl?

lol.

anyways, she said some stuff about __.

*&^%$#.

i said "heh. gosh. minus two points for him."

and Lily went "oh gawd. i`m sorry. Dee2 told me about u and __. i`m sorry."

and i said "heh. dont be. i heard lotsa shyt about him already."

way to go.

tellingly, i don`t feel like jealous ke marah ke ape kan.

i felt NOTHING.

i just laughed about it, and went "haha. wat the hell."

and when Danny heard it, she gave me that "ala Amal, no surprise punye la!"

wahah. true.

ouh ya..

i`ve watched Seeds Of Chucky.

ratings?

2 out of 5.

tak logic.

ok, mayb it is, or i`m just too picky.

but anyways, the whole story is about killing and revenge and shyt like that.

betapa mendak nye.

but for those who loves these kinda so-called "mepek-lagi-boring" nye thrillers, go catch it la.

ouh. and, yes, it`s M18.

argh.

just checked the caller ID.

Yan call lagi.

kaoz. dektu slalu call wrong timing tau!

*sob sob*

tapi takpe, at least he smsed. yayness.

kaoz.

my N3200 is a numbnut.

blurghs.

blueks.

blearghs.

ka-pui.

dear Mr-Fatman-with-a-bulging-belly-and-a-long-white-dirty-beard,

please send me the Samsung SGH-E800C phone?!

heh.

2005-01-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

hold me and kiss me babey

i know

i changed my layout AGAIN.

did alot of editting.

like the pics, and the positions of the id box and all that.

*phew*

(ouh, this is gon be pretty long. can`t help it, got lots to say)

anyways, school`s been pretty ok lately.

i guess i`m used to the long hours and the never-ending school work.

suffer now and lead a good life later i suppose?

heh.

yesterday (120105) was Danny`s 17th Burfdae.

gee.

my galfren`s seventeen already eyy.

would be celebrating tomorrow with Efy, Fana and Danny.

yayness.

ouh. tellingly, am waiting for Yan`s calls.

tho i know he seldom call me at night.

heh.

but he`s been calling yesterday and the day before.

but i was busy.

*blurghs*

kinda miss talking to him on the phone.

(call aku la Yan! heh. mcm la die leh dgr.)

btw, mama told me that Salina has eye infection.

haish. pity her.

has to go to TTS for check up.

anyways cuzzie, hope u get well soon babe, and we can start talking crap again eyy.

ouh ya!

Hafiy is in playgroup now.

heh.

he keeps calling EVERYONE (including his "so-called-friends") 'Mama'.

hahaha.

cute la si kecik tu.

if i see him, i`m gon carry and tickle him sey.

ahh.

its 8:30 already.

gota start on my homework.

sec5 is a hellish year.

BLUEKS.

2005-01-10T16:27:00.000-08:00

only have 5 minutes to blog.

so this is gon be super short.

(i suppose)

firstly, wana say sorry to Haikel. (notice something different abt ur "identity" in my blog these days? *winks*)

sorry i upset u.

sorry i was stubborn.

sorry u had a hard time convincing me.

sorry for everything.

school was ok.

but art`s a problem now.

still thinking of themes for the O Levels.

HELP ME SOMEONE.

*sigh*

2005-01-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

mama`s off to Malacca with her friends.

baba sent her off tadi.

but will be back by tonight.

ya, one short trip.

i have to go to cik ahmad`s place later with my cousin, Amalia.

went out with Danny and Efy yesterday.

but anyways, we dint go to Bras Basah Complex to get the books that Efy wanted.

instead, we made our way to Orchard.

blurghs.

i was tryna avoid going to Orchard or the town area la.

but too bad.

after that, made our way to LJS century square sana.

where we met Mat Timberland.

ok, its Haikel la.

it was packed, and, i HATE waiting.

so, decided to try our luck at TM`s LJS.

finally managed to get four seats ahh.

after eating, Haikel wana get the boots he reserved at Timberland. (the reason for that nick.)

went to FOX after that.

that`s when i saw Faiz and Zul, primary school friends.

heh. nice to know they still remember me.

it was near ten, so i had to go home already.

boarded 293, with Haikel.

*.thank you.*

had fun as always, Haikel`s like one of my gurlfriends already.

heh.

he brightens me up.

glad to spend time with him.

---

Yan called me when i was siap-ing semalam.

yes, the reason to why i was late.

but, i dont care la.

i love talking to him on the fone.

he has that power to make me smile, even when i`m down.

heh.

and of course, he somehow managed to make me listen to him, even if its crap sometimes.

lol.

---

besok p Melaka.

confirm panas punye.

ET, get the digi camera charged cause we`re so gona take lotsa pix tomorrow.

---

2005-01-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

and haikel just smsed and said he saw a gerl in tudung with

the same facial features as me.

carbon copy some more.

*u ehhh*

---

i know someone with the name of

ADI SUFIAN

who has a girlfriend named

AMALINA.

that`s FREAKING freaky.

FREAKING FREAKING FREAKY.

will update again later

2005-01-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

if i`m given a choice, i would climb into bed, close my eyes and let go.

but..

i`ve got so much homework to do.

revision.

and more revision.

they say, sec5 aint an easy year.

now i know why.

turned my hp off and divert calls to my old prepaid num.

(RELAX, I`M NOT USING THAT NUM NO MORE LA)

too tired to reply msgs and answer calls right now.

so pple, pls just call my home eyy.

so sorry.

reply to taggers :

doll : heh. i`m simple really. thanks babe. lurve ya!

lina : wahaha. ifran is forever that way. p melaka this Sunday?

ifran : i`m not goth ok.. heee.

asmie : aite. tkcr.

jim`s gurl : hey. thx so much. it`s tyrannical_gal@hotmail.com gurl. tkcr!

syadie : hee. syadie giler, syadie gile!

mas : kooh eyy? heh. urs too la gurl. thx eyy! *smiles*

isha : hey babe! thx. but urs is nicer la gurl. hee. tkcr!

2005-01-04T17:57:00.000-08:00

i`ve got millions of homework to do.

i`ve got to deal with shyt from others.

argh.

freaks.

and my frigging sodding taggie aint werking.

u`ve got to click on "refresh" button after tagging.

sorie pple.

o, btw, no,

Shafian and i are buddies, not a couple.

he`s my bestest guyfriend.

that doesn`t make us a couple.

ok pple?

---

i`m so fcuking dead, i swear i could kill someone right now.

urgh.

bloody hell.

ahhh.

can`t take any of this shyt no more ah.

*slaps forehead*

2005-01-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

just got back from school.

and hell, there are TOO many changes that i have to get used to.

first, the fact that school will end at 2:50 in the late afternoon instead of the usual timing, 1:40.

second, there`ll be two breaks everyday. a 30mins recess which allow us to go to the canteen to get some food. and the 15 mins toilet break at 12:55.

third, PE lessons would only be 30mins.

fourth, every period takes up 50mins instead of 35mins. (WTH.)

i guess i have to deal with that - like it or not.

anyways, i saw Yan in school tadi (duh. obviously kan.), and his hairdo was WOW-ISH.

he looked really really good.

it was like.. that guy who sang Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney is it?

i guess so.

though i`ve seen his hair in some Ryan Cabrera style or some punk hairdo, this was the best.

ni kalau aku blg die, mesti suke punye.

haha.

anyhoos,

my class consists of 44 people.

ramai sak.

but i like it as much as last year.

just miss having Rizad in class.

the bluntness of it all.

2005-01-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

so its already 1st January 2005.

sheesh.

time sure flies fast.

i dint celebrate countdown really.

just went to town, shop at Robinsons.

had dinner at Lestari, went to granma`s place for a while.

rushed home to see Taufik`s I Dream music video.

i dont see a need to celebrate countdown really.

so, new year, new life, new love life (hmmmmm), new everything, but i can assure that its gon be the same old me eyy.

i`m moving on with life.

i`m not gon regret the decisions i made in 2004.

i dont regret meeting/not meeting anyone.

i dont regret the actions i made.

---

resolution?

i have more than 3 resolutions every year, but i NEVER really care?

however, i wana make it better this yr.

i`ll try to stick to them la eyy.

wishes. resolution.

i wana be a good daughter to my parents.

i wana be a good student in school (wahahaha!)

i wana be a good friend to my friends, especially Danny and Efy.

i wana be a good gurlfriend to someone, be there for him, shower him with endless love, and never fail to brighten up his day especially when he`s down.

MOST OF ALL, i wana pass my O Levels with my gurlfriends and do my parents proud.

i wana be a better person.

---

ouh.

and thank you to these pple.

people who has made me a better someone in 2004.

Danny, Efy, Fana, my family, *you*, Adi.

especially Adi.

he left a huge impact in my life.

the one guy who stood by me through rain or shine.

the one guy who believed in me when others try to shut me up.

the one who made me feel like i`m always needed.

***

``i found a reason for me, to change who i used to be.

a reason to start over new.

and the reason is you.```

***

so pple.

i dont think i`ll be blogging as often as i used to last year.

but, continue tagging eyy.

*winks*

have a great year ahead.

*happy new year to you too, baby*

2004-12-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

i was browsing through other blogs when i came upon Ifran`s.

his entry dated 28th Dec 2004, about the killer waves, made me think really hard.

(i don`t ENJOY thinking la ok. i just TEND to think.)

after reading his entry, i have to say that whatever`s posted there is true.

apocolypse is drawing near.

in most cases like this, i would prefer NOT to know the details.

cause it usually scares me.

but, this one is different.

i know some stuff about tsunamis cause when i was in primary 5, i was asked to do projects on this killer wave and its dangers.

but it never kills to learn more eyy.

i surfed the net for information on the tsunami.

the death toll is increasing rapidly with each passing day.

it kills thousands and sweep buildings off its feet.

i watched the news last night with baba and akak.

it`s really scary.

my heart goes out to those victims who were killed and to those who lost their family members, friends and their houses.

i`ve seen how earthquakes, volcano erruptions and landslides kills millions.

but tsunami - is really bad, with a death toll of more than 80,000.

well, of course, it just shows how powerful Allah is.

what`s more pitiful is that, this happens in countries like India and Thailand.

with more than 80,000 dead, rotting corpses everywhere, broken sewers and lack of food and shelter, it`s already so bad for them.

they`re already struggling to meet ends meet, and a disaster strucks them.

but, yes, i suppose this is one way to purify the sins of men.

well, it pains alot to see those people struggling to save themselves as well as their families, and the pain of losing their loved ones.

the feeling is just indescribable.

and as i pen down my thoughts and sipping hot chocolate leisurely, i`m sure those people in the affected countries are grieving over the loss of their loved ones.

no matter how sorry i feel for them, i still think that we can never put ourselves in their shoes, and feels the same as they do.

i guess we should start praying before our time comes.

right pple?

---

anyway, did anyone watch the soccer match last night?

Singapore VS Myanmar.

it`s a lucky thing that Singapore won.

baba said Myanmar is a good team, i have to agree with him.

and, yes, the Lions were pretty good last night.

BUT.

there were alot of silly mistakes.

like, when Myanmar scored their second goal.

i feel that it was evitable.

anyways, Noh Alam Shah and Shahril rock my socks.

hah.

i sat down infront of the tv in our living room with baba.

and, boy, was he noisy.

heh.

he kept shouting

"that`s a stupid goal!!!"

and i agree with him.

well, nevermind.

at least the Lions did Spore proud this time eyy.

---

Singapore 4

Myanmar 3

2004-12-29T11:11:00.000-08:00

received shocking news this morning.

tok andak just passed away.

shocked.

semoga roh nya dicucuri rahmat.

he breathed his last breath(huh? something like that la.) last night.

no one told my mum till this morning.

the excuse they gave her, "ingatkan u pegi holiday"

excuse the hell out of me.

even if u thought that way, u should have at least tried calling or smsing mama.

sheesh.

some pple.

---

ahh.

gawd.

he has such a big heart.

any other guy would have kicked me in the ass for telling him those stuff i just did.

but him - he SMILED.

well, he`s not like any other guy, i know.

---

2004-12-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

went to Bugis with mama and akak last evening.

bought my pencilcase.

and mama bought this pants which is soo nice BUT punyela leceh nak pakai.

i saw him at Bugis MRT stat.

adi.

my ex-bf.

with mus.

and other guyfriends of theirs.

when i saw him, the first thing that came to mind was to go up to him, tickle him and whisper "hey u.." in his ear and call Mus "mushy marshy marshmallow".

wakakaka.

but..

im not his syg, hes not my man no more eii.

i actually got panicky.

dint know what to do.

i told mama to walk faster and she said "asal? adi eh? tkpela.."

TAKPE?!

ok.

so maybe, takpela kalau die ade.

tapi.

it nearly brought me to tears la sia.

adi saw me. .

we made eye contact.

our eyes met.

for a few seconds before i could get a grip of myself.

he always has that effect on me sia.

after his sms, i dint feel good.

AT ALL.

seriously.

upon reaching Tamp, i went straight to the ladies.

and.

I THREW UP.

wah kaoz.

gile la sia.

adi has THAT much effect on me eyy?!

well.

wadever.

i shall not think about it all.

we`ve done our best, let God do the rest.

ouh ya.

ade orang kahwin kat bawah block rumah aku.

punyelah bising.

then, bukak lagu smue dangdut siak.

and worse, semue da tua2, tapi all seems like matreps wanting attention from others.

smlm, bile kite balek,

pakcik2 yang dah tua bangka, yang tak sedar diri, main judi kat bawah blok umah aku and even kacau2 mama, akak and aku while we were on the way up the stairs.

nasib baba takde, klau tak, da kene maki.

(hah, et, u kno ur angah la eh)

diorg tu fikir ape?

zaman 60s pe nak kacau2 isteri and anak dara orang.

mak aii. taubat la oi.

---

anyways

i saw Safwan and Apit smlm at Rochor`s food centre.

hah. farni sia.

but anyways, they both looked good la.

---

ahh.

smlm ade MNG sale.

akak, ape lagi.

attack the MNG outlet at TM Isetan.

kaoz.

i saw this one baju, MNG touch.

wasnt reli excited like sis was.

but i held onto it just in case akak wants it.

i wasnt into MNG.

so i decided to give akak that green blouse with the MNG Touch printed on it.

but mama insisted we bought two.

woopedoo.

i love my mama.

---

feeding ears to

Finch - Letters To You

---

2004-12-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

yesterday was the best day ever?

(hmm. maybe.)

baba spent $62 on FOX tees for me.

(and yes, akak, for you too.)

(et, u should go grab that $23 nye tee that u wanted. ouh, and the jackets as well!!)

my intention was to get only one black long sleeve blouse there.

but baba FORCED me to grab two more.

it felt good.

real good.

but wait.

the best has yet to come.

i saw someone.

*ooh la la*

i was running (erm. or maybe just walking faster than usual) and dint notice him.

akak noticed him and called my name.

when he looked at me, WHOAH!

u should have seen the look on my face sia.

masok Watsons.

and voila, hes there again.

well actually, i was kinda glad that i bumped into him

though we decided to take "3-days-off" from each other.

heh.

is that ever possible.

*wink wink*

anyways, will be going out with mama and akak todae.

baba ade dinner with some pple, so he`s not gon join us.

i love going out with mama.

cause shes my atm machine.

heh.

NO.

cause i just love to be with my mama.

(ye, aku anak manja. so what.)

ouh.

my speakers arent dead.

but.. urgh.

somethings wrong with the speaker settings thats why it wouldnt "sing" to me.

blurghs

2004-12-24T13:02:00.000-08:00

akak just called up to say FOX ade sale!!

oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!

im pink with glee!

---

like *&^%$#@!

*ka-puiii!*

ive typed a short entry (still, it took me 15 mins ok!) and when i clicked on "publish post", my comp went dead.

*grrr*

nvm

as they say, patience is a virtue.

right now,

i have to give him miss calls everytime i reply his msgs.

something`s wrong with the network or whatever.

*slaps forehead*

and. ouh.

ive wasted more than a dollar on msgs that he COULD NOT receive.

(ouh. wait. dont feel bad, baby. its ok. *muacks*)

im so in love with that black long sleeve blouse i saw at Fox on Wednesday.

kakak a.k.a my atm machine, be nicer to me this weekend please?

*hint hint*

(ah. suda, jgn pura2 taktau pulak.)

i just realised that my knuckles are quite big.

its so big that everytime i put on my rings, it get stuck there.

but gets so loose when i had it on.

am i making sense here?

ala. u guys figure it out la k.

thinking.

nak kelua ke tak nak ni.

argh.

tu pon susa nak decide.

merry xmas to whoevers celebrating.

2004-12-23T14:12:00.000-08:00

ah. am missing him already sia.

blurghs.

padahal baru talked on the fone 10 mins ago.

i miss u baby.

*winks*

and the next three days are gon be boring without your sms-es.

(you know that.)

kaoz. baru three days sey.

klau pegi NS lagi mcmne..

*slaps forehead*

---

at last.

i changed my layout again.

this time, it was hell hard.

took a long time editting it all.

anyways, its done now.

couldnt have the music video here cause it wouldnt fit in even after million of times editting it.

so instead, i had to put something there (top right) so it wouldnt be bare.

i know.

my picture.

heh.

so went to sch yest to check out my class and get my booklist.

yayness.

same class as Danny, Fana and the rest of the 4c gerls.

Efy wouldnt be in the same class as us tho.

*sigh*

then we made our way to CS CoffeeBean to meet kak Dilah and Nikman.

everyone ordered chocolate while Nikman and i ordered mocha.

it took us a long time to figure out whose drink belongs to who.

especially when no one wants to sip/taste due to "hygiene" purpose.

*slaps forehead*

on the way home, had t go to McDs to get McNuggets meal for Abg Ayul.

sumpah aku benci pergi tmpt tu yang penuh ngn mats and minahs.

anw, who cares la kan.

reached home, and Abg Ayul was still in my room, fixing the comp.

its been re-format.

so all my songs are GONE GONE GONE.

and even if there are some left here, i wouldnt be able to listen to any cause my speakers arent working now.

Abg Ayul said hes gon try to fix it asap.

ya. or ill just die.

Wan called me last night.

after YEARS not hearing anything from him, suddenly he re-appears.

ya2, he was my first love.

i know i know.

anyways, hes nastier than ever.

but HAH, i always have something to shoot back at him la k.

blueks.

to that tagger who named herself orang.

obviously u are a human with no brains.

(ouch?)

anyways, do u even know who MR X is?!

if u do, well, better know this too.

I LOVE HIM.

hah. i do.

and if ur not happy with that, go fark urself.

im so not surprised la with all these treatment i get from pple like u.

"ur just another fly who irritates the shit out of me"

2004-12-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

ok.

i know.

the font sucks.

but i just love it.

so pple, im so not gon change my font.

do whatever - squint, get ur glasses or WHATEVER to read my entries

but PLEASE dont ask me to change it.

i love this font!!

and.

yes.

i know, the scrollbars arent working for some gawddamn reason.

im still trying to figure out the prob.

right now, to scroll down, just use the arrow buttons on your keyboard la k.

make do with that first eyy.

and yes, i know, the buffering for the video clip sucks!!

but shucks.

im not a pro at this.

so pple, just make do with it all ayy.

thx.

ayy.

and..the song`s playing is Baby Face - The Loneliness.

am so addicted to that song.

i know, im emo-ish right now.

but who cares?!

urgh.

gota rush to school.

2004-12-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

good morning.

the tagboard`s ok now.

so go tag tag tag.

takmo tag nonsense sudalah.

anyways, had a blast with Danny and Efy yesterday.

went to town.

and sheesh.

we saw PUG JELLY babey.

tht guy..erm. tktau la name die.

blond hair, tattoo on his right arm.

he was HOT. whoah.

we were at BORDERS.

Efy wanted to get this book "Roots" by some author.

Danny and i started making lotsa noises when we saw them.
Efy was obviously irritated.

tapi, its PUG JELLY la babe.

maybe its nothing to others cause seriousli, no one really noticed.

maybe theyre not very popular and you can call them a pop punk "band".

but, their music is pretty good pe.

shh.

k enuff.

---

anyways, i saw Azran at Tamp Int.

he was with his fren.

gawd. da lame sey tak nampak die.

then, when i saw him, all those times we had just kinda came back to mind.

kinda regret breaking his heart.

nice chap.

growing and becoming more good-looking ayy.

---

then.. i saw this guy from spf.

gosh. i forgot his name.

walked past him (he was sitting on the railing)

and he called out my name.

ooh. what`s his name eyy. nvm. at least i smiled.

anyways, yesterday wasn`t really a good day la.

Efy was down.

she dint wana talk, smile and never laffed.

so.. kat esplanade, Danny and i kinda talked to her about it all.

*sigh*

seriously, ive been there, done that.

it sucks alot.

but tellingly, no man is worth a woman`s tears.

and even if he is, he wouldnt make her cry.

sheesh.

Danny and i made a fool of ourselves just tryna make Efy smile.

i dont care if pple stare and look or whatever.

i just need her to smile and be happy.

---

so Efy, u reading this, u need no man to make u happy eyy?

maybe with his presence, things would be perfect, but hey, as they say, time is a healer..

SMILE EFY, SMILE!

---

ahh.

you said ur confused with me.

well, i think im so much more confused with you.

you claim you want this but do the other.

but anyways, im not surprised la.

its just you being you.

*sigh*

``what goes around comes around``

---

feeding ears to : My Chemical Romance - Demolition Lovers

2004-12-18T21:05:00.000-08:00

argh.

tagboard error.

numbnut.

will have the tagboard back in place once its all ready.

sorie for the inconvenience caused.

---

morning pple.

ah. feeling a lil P.M.S.y this morning.

shytz ah.

abg ayul`s coming later to fix this "oh-almost-dead" computer.

so, et, u coming along? mesti tak tau, dekni weekends mesti turon town punye!

ade betuiii? hehehe.

anyways, yest was pretty ok.

got my results.

5 points.

alhamdulillah

klau nak tau ape best three subs, then ask me urself.

cause, klau i were to type it here, pple will think i want to brag or something?

although to me, it is not worth bragging about.

danny and efy also had 5 points.

yayness.

so next year, o levels ayy.

i dont mind if we dont get to be in the same class as long as we`re taking the Os together.

and Lina might be in the same class as me as well.

*yay!*

last night, kak ita and kak oncoi ajak p mkn kat swensens Tamp.

hafiy and iffa ikot.

cute seeeeyyyy.

at ard 10+, we reached home.

danny, efy and kak dilah had a phone conference.

yes, one conference without me. i was out, that`s why.

but anyways, they filled me in with the details.

yayness.

so this monday, a date for Efy?

whee. im happy for my galfren.

danny asked if i wanted to bring a guyfren along.

im not sure...

should i? nanti da mcm double date lak aii.

so i thought, let it be a romantic night for Efy.

mine was last 2 weeks pe.. haha.

so *Mr Hot*, tkmo amek off day la k on monday?

so, ya, decision is made.

AKU TAK PERGI GIG NEXT WEEK.

its a punkrock gig.

Efy`s cousin nye band performing.

i was told its on a Monday ah.

but mcm weird sey, gig on Monday ehh.

haiyahs.

ouh.

ya, smlm, when i was about to receive my results from Mr Lim.

siak ah dektu.

"amalina.. still with Adi?"

"for me to know and you to find out. wheres my result?"

"congrats, ur gon be in sec5 nxt yr"

"oh. thank you. thank God."

*takes my hp outta my pocket*

"ah. yes, let Adi know."

"shut up."

it never will end la.

these things.

*slaps forehead*

anyhoos, im gon miss Rizad seyy.

hes not gon be with us next year.

we chatted kat msn last night.

i told him not to ever5 forget us.

*sigh*

i get to see the NT students for the last time yesterdae.

gon miss them all.

especially Nina, Laila, Saniah and Hanis.

gon be dull without them.

and those skinheads and punks from 4e and 4d.

tho they can be very noisy at times, at least diorg tak "tangkap hensem".

2005 gon be so dead.

but who cares la.

i guess its gon be a stressful year eyy.

feeding ears to BabyFace - The Loneliness

feeling emo-ish right now.

*hurhur*

2004-12-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

one happy gurl here.

ALHAMDULILLAH.

thank GOD.

gona sit for my Os next yr.

gosh.

am happy.

and glad.

and blessed.

i feel so loved.

terima kasih.

especially to YOU.

*mr x*

and everyone else.

i feel so loooovvveeeddd by you pple.

---

kept waking up every hour to check the time on my hp.

excited? i think its nervous breakdown.

RESULTS OH RESULTS.

I HATE WAITING FOR YOU!

efy says to stop thinking about it first.

ya, maybe i should or ill start to panic and all.

---

still thinking.

should i get that pair of Chucks?

urgh. decide, decide!

should i go to the gig on monday?

(Li, i think its on mondae? i was told so???) heh.

heard its gon be pretty good. $5.

ok ah tu.

---

went to eastpoint with efy, danny and kak dilah last evening.

i fell in love with sony`s cybershot digi camera.

call it love at first sight baby.

danny says it should be pretty good.

4.1 mega pixels. pretty good? not sure.

should consult akak first la.

feeding ears to

Zelmani Sophie - Always You.

2004-12-16T21:16:00.000-08:00

oh GOD.

please make me a happy gerl tomorrow?

please?

---

to whoevers taking N Level results tomorrow,

good luck and all the best.

no matter what the outcome is, try to make the best out of it.

2004-12-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

pix from yest`s outing.

On The Way..

`efy and me in the bus.

`my bestest galfrens ever.

At East Coast..

`danny and me.

`us. firah, danny and lina not in the pic tho.

`us. at Bedok Jetty.

`thts where you can find pple fishing.

`danny`s footprints. mine dint look like a footprint at all.

`efy finding Syafril. haha. i`m lying.

`us again. i love them. *yayness*

`outside McDs. on our bikes.

`heh.

`on the fone with my mama.

`danny, lina and me. hahkz. while singing some dangdut songs. wakaka!

`us again. kebudak-budakan. heh.

`danny and me. watching some pple skim and surf.

`them. staring at some "speedo-man". tsk3.

`us again. hehk.

`Amer`s chick. jambu seyy! haha.

`ah. smudged eyeliners. and, no, i dun have any clue y my eyebrow is raised.

`efy and me!

`wahduh. romantic seyyy. *woitz!*

`smiles.

---

shit happens.

im a heartbreaker.

all i need and want is for him to love me.

he did.

he gave his best.

his all.

and i drove him away.

im a numbnut.

please dont hate me.

and when he said "thats it"

i wanted to say "no. thts not it. its not ok. pls dont go."

.....

i suck at this.

---

2004-12-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

its 8 mins before 9am.

haish.

i cant believe im blogging this early.

i want to lay on my bed, and try to empty my head of every thought.

but it seems like an impossibility.

ANTM - THE RUNWAY.

dint watch it last night.

but am glad that Yoanna won.

she has a classical face with unique features.

no doubt shes the right gurl for the title.

counting the minutes for me to pick a tee and have it ironed.

haish.

mcm malas nak klua.

but galfrens brightens your day.

they always do.

---

``And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?

Before I pull this trigger,

Your eyes vacant and stained...

And in saying you loved me,

Made things harder at best,

And these words changing nothing...``

---

2004-12-13T17:30:00.000-08:00

mama`s so kanchiong, but baba`s so rileks.

mama asek2 "adek, thurs is ur results. seramnye.."

ya. 3 days to go.

and its make or break day.

pls let it be a "ill-wear-this-ugly-uniform-again-next-yr" day.

please God?

im in a state of confusion.

not sure if im doing the right thing, making the right decisions.

i shall not think anymore.

it pains alot to think about such issues.

went to swensens at airport T2 last night.

ordered lotsa food, and went home with a stomach as round as a buoy.

i dont care.

i enjoyed myself.

hakim (akak`s bf) wished mama a 43rd bdae last evening.

he smsed her.

adi would have done that as well if we were still together.

IF.

but right now, being alone is the best.

ill tink about the future later if i want to.

---

feeding ears to belaian jiwa - taufik

he`s a hunk.

---

2004-12-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MAMA!!

i love you lots!

*muackz*

---

thinking of changing my layout again.

yes, again.

hmm.

---

2004-12-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

firstly, its a must to say this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TAUFIK BATISAH!!

he rock my socks!

urgh.

still pretty sleepy and kinda tired.

couldnt sleep last night.

was thinking of some issues and i was feeling really5 hungry,

but takot nak p dapur dalam kegelapan.mepek kan aku. aku tau.

yest, was hell fun!

went out with Danny and Efy (as always).

made our way to Wheelock Place first to meet Efy`s cousin, Uni Lydia.

shes werking at MAC and during her break, die ajak makan kat CoffeeBean kat mane her bro keje.

so made a move there.

got 3 free pure chocolate kid`s size nye drink.

kaoz. bahagie sebentar sey.

then, efy and uni Lydia nak tuna sandwich, so i accompanied Efy to the counter.

efy ckp "ni free lagi ke?

bdk tu trus tak kene gaya seyy.

but aleh2 die ckp "erm..ok $1:30."

i was like WAT?!

kaoz. the actual price is $8:50, die kasi $1:30.

punyela baik hati mamat tu satu.

then, went to Far East.

efy bought a pair of earrings. so did i.

walk around till ard 5:45.

but mcm still too early nak p Esplanade.

so we went to Heerens.

thats when i saw Alishah.

a blogfren of mine.

shes sooo preetttyyy.

wanna take a look at her, go to her blog "alisha".

and alishah,

if u were to read this, yes, lets go out someday eyy?

heh.

later, we made our way to Esplanade.

yayness. i wanted to get that choc milkshake.

but since i had one at CoffeeBean, i bought apple juice instead.

waited for mr.x to come.

then bile die da sampai, i saw that look on danny`s face.

she went "amallllll..."

which simply means "hensemmnyeee!!!"

hahaha.

we sat kat the "MERLION YANG SPIT2 WATER"

haha. i learnt that from him.

so after we talked for abt 20 mins? i guess so.

we asked Efy and Danny to join us.

Danny just clicked with mr.x, that made it okay la.

i tot its gona be weird. but it was hell ok.

then, decided to go to the Esplanade rooftop.

i went there once, but tu zaman purba. jadi lupe la.

luckie danny ade, and mr. x too.

fun gile la. it was just great.

danny was HYPER smlm.

mcm so not her.

its usually me who blabber and talk and just cant keep quiet.

but last night danny was so cute. hahaha.

on the way home.

nampak kak Jaja and Abg Jai, A`an, Adiq, Haikal, Faisal and HAFIY!!!

hafiy was running around the intch.

then went he saw me, he was "eh!" hahahaha.

then when i said "bye hafiy..'

and he went "babaiii".

cute la bdk tuu! geram sey tgk die.

reached home ard 10:45? ard there ah.

after washing up, Efy wanted to talk to me on the fone.

so ya, i know she would talk abt that.

but she said its my choice.

mcm danny said

"ala amal, kau and die tak kemana. kau break, pusing2, die jugak ngn kau. korang terpisah, balek2, ko tgk lagi, die jugak ngn kau."

true ke tak?

aku tkmo tau. all i know is if its meant to be itll be.

i wouldnt wana choose anything or anyone.

---

thx for yesterdae. you were great.

first and last?

mayb therell be a second, but as friends.

okay?

"if being alone is what makes you happy, i have no say"

YOU ARE WRONG.

*smiles*

---

2004-12-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

i was chatting with salina kat msn.

ape lagi klau bukan gado pasal Taufik.

HE`S MINE!!! ok ET? hehe.

nenek dah balek dari uma maklong.

after more than a week there.

akak klua, jumpe matair die la.

sape lagi klau bukan Hakim.

ye, die da patch.

as Adi said last night

"omigosh! is your sis crazee?"

indeed she is.

but, jodoh die maybe? who knows.

nanti klua ngn Salina and akak ku lagi.

yesh ahh.

tktau la si ET ni. die kan kaki gatal.

tkle duduk rumah. haha.

gawd. im talking crap.

i wonder if theres anyone who bothers reading this.

its so filled with crap.

smlm p amek kak Amel kat airport.

while waiting, Adiq nak p BK.

so baba blanje ah.

tapi only akak and me temankan.

had mushroom swiss and fries while waiting for A'an to join us.

skali, bile die dtg, die bwk 4 kwn.

mak oiiii.

bdk2 bola lak aii.

ade satu bdk ni, lagi bleh tanye Adiq, who was sitting beside me.

"Diq, kakak ko? ke matair?"

siak. matair?! aku makcik die la deng.

mcm2 ah bdk2 ni.

pastu, tak ku sangkekan, Apai pon kwn ngn A'an.

anjat sey nmpk die.

(syu, remember Faisal 6/4 aka Apai?)

but okla die tu.

kaoz.

im like so addicted to My Chemical Romance now.

again.

and again.

and againnn.

---

to the tagger, Sarah.

i dont think i know u?

but your ques abt me and Adi, well, that was 3 mths ago.

so, i think its not necessary to be told eyy?

and, abt pple tryna be like us, im flattered.

sure Adi would feel the same too.

thx btw.

``im gone.``

(its lame, i know)

2004-12-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

ahh. dint blog for 3 days.
(except for the pix la)
so. here goes.

p tm ngn mama and baba on saturdae.
mama bought an LG model hp and a pair of C&K heels.
it looked so good on her.
akak klua ngn her friends. p main bowling ngn kak linda, kak yaya and all.

on sundae, cik yana kawin.
kinda tiring.
i had flu, so - it was bad la.
worst, bile balek aje, i had fever.
was hungry but too weak to mkn.
so mama suapkan.
she made akak bring the comforter from our room and snuggled me in.
then she hugged me real tight and kept saying "ala..senyap je bile die sakit.."
bising sgt ke aku ni.
hahaha.
watever it is,
i love my mama.
*muackx*

smlm, ikot baba fetched mama from her workplace.

mama took half day.

then we went to ICA building. p amek cik Shaari`s birth cert for him.

i suddenly had a craving for McDs McNuggets.

so mama went to the shops and baba drove me to the CC`s McDs.

punyela pekak mamat tu satu.

aku kate, "erm. ill have mcnuggets meal pls. and, ouh, a hotfudge sundae"

and he said "ouh. todae? i believe its Monday ma`am."

HELLO?!

gosh. aku nak ktawe pon ade, tp kesian kan. so i had to raise my voice alil. kesian la die tu.

hes pretty good-looking, but kesian kan, kurang pendengaran.

then, balek uma, trus mkn nuggets aku.

half an hour later, baba suroh tman p amek bende kat uma maklong, then anta kat uma abg Lan and fetch nenek, nek bibik and mami kat Yishun.

otw, i listened to Norah Jones cd.

weird eyy?

i know.

but quickly switched to perfect 10 after that.

then, dah sampai uma nenek kan, baba naik. but i waited in the car.

had the aircon switched off cause i was frigging cold.

but i had the window to my seat rolled down ah.

all the other doors were locked, so pretty safe ah kan.

then, aku tertido bile dgr lagu True by Ryan Cabrera.

abe, kpale terhantuk, ade tiga mamat ni naik basikal nampak.

diorg kate "ngntok eh..."

kaoz. malu sak aku. tapi, sesungguhnye, aku ni muke tebal, jadi aku trus tutup tingkap tu, and tgk dpan je, mcm tkde ape2 yg terjadi.

haish.

im home alone now.

mama and baba p hospital.

then akak skola.

*sigh*

im so frigging scared.

of the N Level results.

next fridae.

17th dec.

gawdammit.

pls. pls. i need to go to sec5 to take my O Levels.

PLEASE GOD. HELP ME!.

2004-12-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

too tired to blog.

so just posting pictures instead.

from yesterday`s wedding.

*kak yana`s wedding*

(NOT MY SIS LA!)

kak yana. pretty eyy.

aww. so sweet.

the `berkat`...

the kompang nye bdk2.

the seats, deco. how it looks like.

pelamin!!! ahh. cantek kan.

upahku. haha. serious. got $5 each (et, me and akak) for helping
out.

---OUR PICTURES.

mama and me. i lurve my mama! muacks.

akak and mama. hurhur.

akak and kak ogy.

me and my lil baybeh boy. tkla. thts Syafiq, cute eyy.

abg ayul and syafiq. mate die...geram sey.

abg ayul and me. haha. ape saje tau c abg ayul tu.

et and me. haha. aku tau, muke aku penat.

us again.

and again.

and againnn.

abg ayul and akak. hahaha.

diorg lagi.

me and akak.

leftover ribbons. haha. abg ayul`s creation on his shoes. mepek kan kite.

me!

salina. (hey, ur hair looks damn great la et..ko ni kan..haha.)

in the car. on the way to the wedding.---

2004-12-03T11:47:00.000-08:00

i cried myself to sleep last night.

ahh. i have my reasons.

shit happens and i dont wanna bother abt it no more.

right now, all i wana say to some people is :

"go phuck yourself phucktards".

but i cant.

no matter how much i wana say it to their face, i cant.

cause i have to respect them.

*hint hint*

arh. shucks.

wanna cry but why waste my effort and tears.

wanna shout but who would ever bother.

ah, why bother.

maybe YOU should live my life instead.

i can`t even make my own decisions.

gawd.

im so blardie dead, i could phucking kill pple.

---

BRIDGET JONES : THE EDGE OF REASON.

one great movie.

go buy tix and enjoy.

---

pix from yesterday`s outing.

me and salina. she ngn her spex, look so bdk2. haha.

ooohhh. yummy.

ahh. salina. "bdk aru abes PSLE" haha. ok. dont get mad ET.

akak.

wah kaoz.

salina and akak.

me AGAIN.

dabes.

---

i love someone. alot. very much.

(you know i love you)

yet i cant even have him.

-aku berhenti mengharap-

urgh.

2004-12-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

yay yay.
taufik menang.
yay yay.
tak menyesal vote beribu kali utk die.
yayness.

when the results were announced, my house got a lil too noisy.
but hell. it`s Taufik ok!
i love that song, I Dream.
so soothing.
and yes, Taufik was hell SEXY. hot hot hot.

Sylvester would have been great if he hasn`t tried too hard.
he dresses to kill sia.
his voice is husky and all, but mcm Beng-Rocker-tak-jadi gitu.

akak and i screamed and yelled so loud when they performed The Reason.
dammit.
remind me of Adi seyy.
cause he loves that song so gawddamn much.
blearghs.

yay.
nanti klua ngn akak and ET lagi.
nak tgk movie again.
yest, decided to watch Shutter AGAIN.
then tadi akak suggested Bridget Jones?
hmmmm.*wonders*

anyways, Azmil is so mean.
he made akak cried yest.
you big bad wolf!
i wish i could cut your fingers and make you eat it RAW.
eww. that`s weird. can that ever happen?
whatever la. i think you pple know.

"i love and care about you, suddenly i found out that you have another man"
he said that to me.
i never had another man.
ok, maybe i do.
but i never knew you loved me.
so please stop ignoring me for that reason.

my tonsils are getting really5 bad.
da mcm so swollen. its like closing up.
i dint wanna tell mama that it`s tonsils.
cause she`s gonna go
"tula. asek2 mkn chocolate, gigit2 ice cubes. skrg sakit kan.."
haish.

patotnye nari kene bangun cepat, kene teman baba p hospital.
tapi bangun lmbt sgt, bile baba kejut, i slept back.
kesian baba kene p sorang2.

okla. tktau ape lagi nak tulis.
mcm2 ah actually, tapi my fingers are screaming for a rest.
kesian.
k daa pple.

2004-12-01T11:07:00.000-08:00

dint feel like blogging at all.

not feeling too good.

i think my tonsils are getting red.

having difficulties swallowing now.

wah kaoz! benci nye mcm ni.

anyways,

i came out with this.

right before i went to bed.

---

I MISS YOU
i miss the way you would hold my hand,
letting me know you`ll never let me go.

i miss the way you would pull me closer,

and let me rest my head on your shoulder.

i miss the way you would play with my hair
and look at me in the eye.

i miss the way you would say "it`s ok" everytime

i make a mistake or even lie.

i miss the way you would play with the ring on my finger
and tell me it would be there for eternity.

i miss the way you would pull strands of my hair

behind my ears whenever it gets messy.

i miss the way you crack a joke and make funny faces
to make me smile.

i miss the way you would call me up to say you miss me

even after we`ve met for a while.

i miss the way you would get jealous
but would never admit it.

i miss the times when you were caught smoking

and make me all worried.

i miss the way you would say i never will lose you
but i would just bite my lips.

i simply miss the way you would say you never will leave me...

when in actual fact....u just did.

---

2004-11-29T09:54:00.000-08:00

my neck is screaming for a good massage
ahh.
someone please?
hee.

smlm p ET nye cuz nye wedding.
packed.
packed.
packed.
haish.
luckie we were seated at the back, tkla face org2 sgt.
i kinda pity Salina.
kesian sepupu aku tu satu.
dala hilang wallet, mcm2 lak aii.
sabar la ET.
when she cried yest, i was kinda shocked.
cause, we hardly cry infront of each other.
and when she did, i just gave her a hug.
tak kesah ape mat2 yg tgh tgk aku peluk ET tu nak ckp ape, ckp la!
all i know is i need her to be ok.
haish.

how to lose a guy in 10 days.
i still love it alot.
kinda remind me of adi.
sheesh.
he`ll always go
"u tk abes2 tgk crite tu ehh..nak lose me in 10 days izit?"
well, adi, i just did.
in 19 mths.

nvm.
enough said.

going out later.
i suppose.
with Kak Ita and akak.

akak is so irritating.
she has flu and sore throat.
and bile die ckap, mcm sengau kan.
then she kip saying "adekk"
it`s like eww.
hahaha.
sorie kak.

to YOU.
hehe.
I MISS YOU.
a lot.
so much.
very much.
just so very much.
---
iheartyou.
*smiles*

2004-11-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

GERHANA SKA CINTA - HADIRNYA CINTA

Kau permata,

Kaulah intan,

Disanubariku.

Kau pujaanku,

Kau idamanku.
Sinar rembulan,

Menerangi jiwa,

Oh asmaraku,

Kau yang kucinta,

Hangatnya cintamu.

Tiada yang lain,

Kaulah satunya,

Antara beribu.

Cintamu sehangat

sinar mentari,

Membakar jiwaku.
Hadirnya cintamu,

Membawa bahagia,

Dalam hidupku.

Bagaikan bulan,

Dipagari bintang,

Dimalam syahdu.

2004-11-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

good morning pple.

this is gonna be a long entry.

ahakz.

all my entries are long aniways.

just that this is slightly a lil longer.

so bear with it eyy

or u can not read it.

*smiles*

went out with Salina yest.

went job-hunting.

i mean, she needs a job right now.

met her at CT Hall MRT stat at 3:10.

i was 45 mins.

don`t ask me why.

made our way to Suntec.

first stop was Esprit.

ooh la la.

i love the clothes there.

but urgh.

the price was a prob to a 16 yr old gerl like me.

hehe.

she got to fill in the form, but to be on the safe side, we went to Bodyshop, Bossini, Gior, MNG and other outlets.

then went to Raffles City and went window shopping.

yes.

WINDOW SHOPPING.

i wanted to get myself this baby blue long sleeve tee from Fox.

so in love with it.

but on second thought, would go with akak someday.

ard 5+, we made our way to OC.

it was raining.

luckie tak heavy sgt.

so, tak need an umbrella ah.

BUT.

OUR HAIR was a MAJOR prob.

not for me ah, but for Ina.

"aku takle. rambut aku la Mal. tkle2.."

hurhur.

klaka ah dektu.

still, we just walked in the rain.

trus makan kat LJS.

tapi tak la lapar sgt, so kite share je.

tu pon da kenyang ah.

aku pantang sgt p LJS kat OC.

mat2 die..teruk la.

irritates me alot.

so anyways, met akak ard 5:45 kat OC jugak.

of cos, klau Ina dah meet Yana, mesti ke toilet LAGI.

hurhur.

pastu p Heerens jap.

amek neoprints.

the printing was a quickie.

but ya, mcm bdk bodo nak kene posing2 cpt2, klau tak die snap je.

but still, it turned out ok la.

(i`ll post it later)

ouh.

i bought myself this black clip.

i love it so much.

it`s nice.

tho it`s reli simple.

i love simple accessories la cause i`m simple.

akak bought herself a Roxy slippers.

gallaz thingy.

ET and i weren`t surprised.

akak is pretty diff from both of us.

cause she da "akak2".

minat Roxy, Quik, MNG, ZARA, and stuff.

and, ya, the beach slippers looked good on her.

her feet i mean.

dah puas jln2 kat Heerens, we made our way to Far East.

and, ahh.

i saw him.

ooh.

hurhur.

firstly tak nmpk ah, cause i had my eyes on the gals in those beautiful prom dresses kat Hyatt Hotel.

skali, i felt mcm diff wen i walked past him.

i quickly looked back when akak said,

"dek, do u know who that was"

and YES, i couldn`t help but smile all the way to Far East.

gosh.

Salina lagi burok sak.

"et, tu la `mr.x`"

"huh?! `mr.x` tu?!?!"

(pointing to my hp, my inbox la gitu)

"err. yaaa. asal?"

"eh! suro die patah balek. aku nak tgk muke die lagi!!"

buruk kan dektu.

la.

aku pon kdg2 gitu. tkle disalahkan.

anw, we missed SI.

mama kate Taufik kinda cried?

aww.

let me be the one who wipe his tears away.

HUH?!

amal2. mimpi saje la.

o ya, smlm kite balek je, Abg Fadlun and some other relatives of ours da sampai.

aku rase janggal jugak bile nmpk diorg kan.

but, eh WHO CARES?!

i dun.

bluek.

akak lak highlight her hair.

mama was shocked.

but i think she da expect pon.

akak kept saying,

"dek, cover akak k..pls pls pls."

"hehe. pandai buat, pandai tanggung ah? yela..ok..rilekz la kak. asal kene fikir sgt pasal ape org ckp? u live ur life for u, not for others. sampai bile nak dgrkan kata2 org.."

"hmm..yela..ok.."

ahh.

smlm bdk2 EVPS dtg uma aku.

best la tgk diorg tu.

Huda, still as beautiful as ever.

Alia, gosh, she`s so pretty.

Ali and Apai da brubah gile.

tak sangke dulu kwn rapat sey.

Dzul, still good looking.

Zati, my childhood buddy, kecoh-rable as always.

hehe.

Ninah and her guy tagged along as well.

then lagi 4 budak aku tk kenal sape.

so anti-social gitu.

except for the gerl ah.

who`s so sweettt.

i think she felt left out gitu?

mcm kesian kan..

i tot of asking her to sit kat living room with the gals and Apai and Ali smue.

but, i think the guy beside her was her man, so aku tk brani nak ckp ape2.

cume kept telling her jgn malu2 and suroh makan.

then, bile diorg da balek, Cik Sal lak dtg.

aku aru nak angkat the glasses, kat the dining and balcony area and wash the dishes pastu call Mr.X.

tapi, blurghs.

then, 5 mins later, jiran atas dtg.

Cik Leha and family.

Haziq, the baby was so cute!!!

geram tgk mata die..bulat nye!

bile smue da alek, i washed up quickly and called Mr.X.

ahh.

at last.

skejap je ah bobal..

ard 30 mins gitu?

then i had a phone call.

sheesh.

i hate confessions.

i mean, bukan hate la.

i just don`t know how to react to it?

mcm slenge kan aku ni.

when Mr.Y sms-ed me and suddenly asked,

"u really like`Mr.X`?"

aku rase mcm *hmmm*.

but tk ans ah his ques tu.

then he told me abt all this and that.

and i felt SICK.

haish.

right now, i`m craving for chocolate cake.

ahh.

i think i wana go make hot chocolate.

dum dee dum.

```the pix```

`akak, me and Salina

`boring~~

`bluekz.

`hurhur. burok nyeee!

`smiles

2004-11-24T11:29:00.000-08:00

`1:18 pm`

i hate myself for treating him like that.

i`m a dodohead.

i`m a moron.

i`m an idiot.

and i cried for 6 long mins.

full stop.

---

still pretty sleepy.

tuned in to Perfect 10 for like 15 mins just now.

i rarely turn the radio on.

but Taufik was interviewed by Dan, so yeapz.

the reason for doing so.

akak and i went "aww. cute nye die" all the way till 10:03, when the interview ended.

din`t sleep well last night.

due to my wild imaginations.

and, yes, due to SHUTTER.

hurhur.

amal amal.

"SHUTTER"

hella good.

wonderful movie.

went to PS with Danny and Efy yest.

watched the 3:10 show instead of 2:30 cause of the unavailable seats.

our seats were EXACTLY behind 6 Malay guys.

argh.

but who cares, we still screamed our butts off manz.

especially efy.

she actually closed her eyes most of the time.

she kept screaming into my ears,

"amal! aku tknk tgk. aku takot."

she looked so cute.

tapi, aku pon pekik kat tlinge die jgak.

ade this part, when the guy was lying on the bed, the "ghost" just appeared.

THAT sucked.

i actually turned to Efy`s side and screamed

"FYYYY!".

sheesh.

so ya, the movie is worth two hours of your time and $7:50.

the kinda movie you would enjoy.

with your galfrens/guyfrens or ur loved ones.

that`s my opinion la.

*winkz*

so then, after the movie, we walked ard PS.

efy bought some tees from u2 and i bought a long sleeve tee from Fox.

i want more tees from there.

since it was only 5+, we decided to go to Esplanade and i was craving for the choc milkshake there.

hehe.

by the time we reached the Esplanade, it was nearly 6:30.

just the right time.

took loadsa pix with our cam phones.

danny`s n3220 resolution was the best.

mine - don`t wana talk abt it.

n3200 SUCK!

walked ard, sipped choc milkshake, yum yum.

made a move at 7:30.

ouh and saw Danial, that kiddo.

at HMV citylink.

and Hafiz at tamp int.

his hairdo was WOW!

i love it manz.

hmm.

my frenship with mr. y is.. awkward now.

i can`t look at him in the eyes no more.

and we don`t joke ard much anymore.

it`s so damn awkward.

we took 291 to Int yest, thought that`s it.

but he wanted to accompany me to meet efy at the library.

THAT was really not him.

aft THAT Friday, things btwn us were so.. different?

i duno.

we usually would just enjoy each other`s company and all.

past - tease, make funny faces, laffs.

now - smiles, look away, silence.

i guess i dint expect him to say those things.

haish.

enuf said.

ahh.

akak`s highlighting her hair later.

err.

i want to highlight mine as well.

but nahz.

i believe in originality.

hahahaha.

tkla.

i dun look good in some European hair colour.

*smiles*

2004-11-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

argh.

wanted to go out with mr.x to watch the shutter later.

but mama said

"dek, kite lum p uma jiran2 la dek..bsk k.."

ma! besok, mr.x keje tau ma.

blurghs.

i miss mr.x.

i`m surprised too.

i hate-d him last time.

then i like him.

now i`m missing him.

tomorrow?

i think i`m gonna love him.

ouh.

or mayb i already am loving him?

and, when i told him i can`t make it today.

he wasnt mad.

i was expecting,

"u ni eh. slalu ah mcmni. benci ah i!"

"argh! sudala. tkya klua lagi ah ni mcm. bnyk lagi pompan yang nak klua ngn i!"

but he gave me an "okay."

i think i`m gonna be a bad gurlfren if we end up together.

haish.

---

TO THE TAGGER.

it`s up to you, really.

i don`t care anymore.

if you think that`s gonna bring me down, you`re gawddamn wrong.

i could type all those nasty words here if i want to,

but on second thought,

WHY BE LIKE YOU.

it`s your fingers, it`s my taggie.

you type, i delete.

it`s fair enough.

say what you wanna say.

those words are going to last for less than a dae.

but, before things gets really ugly, allow me to say this.

I`M A VIRGIN.

go.

go and write more nasty stuff about me on that sick board after reading this.

i bet you there are more to come.

yet, i couldn`t be bothered.

----

uhh.

making my own layout is pretty tough.

with help from photo impression of course.

i like it more than my previous one.

i admit i`m in love.

ahh.

news.

amalina is in love.

let`s not name the person.

i`m still unsure.

if that feeling is going to last.

haish.

got some bad news last night.

wat the heck was wrong with him.

ditching her like that.

i`m beginning to hate him alot.

hmm.

it isn`t easy to find a guy who you truly love and who loves you back.

but some people just take it for granted.

frigging dodoheads.

uhh.

no.

i`m not talking about adi.

some one else anyways.

haish.

guys are so

nasty? i suppose.

i don`t know.

when they want the girl, they start promising the stars, the moon and all.

when they get tired, off you go.

i pity her.

i hate him.

how dare he made her cry like that.

thought they would last really long.

and gosh, they were an almost perfect couple.

haish.

and yest, Salina told me abt her relationship.

haish.

what`s with guys.

saying things they shouldn`t.

gawdammit.

enough said.

i was supposed to call mr.x last night.

i`m sorry.

i know, i know.

i`m so good at only saying sorry.

but i mean it.

your last msg sounds..

hmm.

disappointed with the "haiz".

and, i felt guilty.

i still am feeling guilty.

making you wait like that.

three nights in a row some more.

im sorry.

ahh.

and your reply would be

"it`s ok.. =)"

but it`s not.

i`ll make up to it.

in whatever possible way.

err.

uhh.

passerby, azean and anonymous.

thanks.

alot.

*smiles*

2004-11-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

wanna spread stories about me.

go ahead.

i don`t give a damn no more.

i`m not the amalina YOU once knew.

and hey, how do u even know if i`m a virgin or otherwise.

YOU don`t know me at all.

at least not the new me.

so, don`t test me.

that`s my dignity you`re talking abt.

if i were to question yours, how would you feel.

lastly, whether adi left me because i was unpretty or because of another girl or because i wasn`t the right one for him,

I DON`T CARE AND DON`T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT.

as long as i knew we had good times together in the past, i dun care about the rest.

sometimes, you`ve gota open your eyes WIDE and see that things would not always go your way.

now, you`re tryna put me down, but hey, sometime later in the future, i bet you others would be doing the same to you.

klau nak buat fitnah pon, pilih bulan lain.

ni bulan lah yang kau patut berubah or do something good.

you`re wasting it away.

i`m no preacher. i`m just telling.

hopefully this opens your heart.

--------

btw, taufik rawks.

i love his performance and the guy himself.

hehkz.

*smiles*

smlm p jln raye ngn Hafiy and A`an smue.

Hafiy was CUTE.

went "digerdiggerdigger" evrytime he spots a construction site.

and, he even sang "this love" by maroon 5.

cume pelat sikit, but the way he sings that "oh oh oh" part was hilarious..

one cute babey.

last Sat mama masak nasi briyani and mak long masakkan laksa.

nice. nice.

glorious food.

punye lah ramai org.

but evriting was ok.

abg ayul gave akak and me a poster.

of the SI finalists.

hehkz.

and of course, aku tk tolak rezeki.

lol.

jln raye with danny and all maybe this wed and fri.

yes, twice this week.

yayness.

smlm, faisal kcau2 aku pasal adi.

wah doooiii.

i`m over him lah k.

a`an knew abt me and adi.

he just smiled.

but dint say anyting.

sadiq lak tak abes2 ckp sal shamarul.

chey.

a`an dah hensem ah.

sachok ah adek sedare aku tu satu.

patotla byk pompan suke sgt kat die.

hehe.

i`m gona watch The Shutter.

yayness.

but tktau ngn sape.

either ngn Yan, Danny and Efy or ngn mrx.

hmm.

mrx da start keje la. so tktau la eyy.

2004-11-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

teruk.

malu.

smlm, aku jatuh.

depan mat2 yang berbaju melayu.

aku tgh sms, skali aku jatuh mcm nangka busuk.

aku malu.

teruk lah aku ni.

jgn disoalkan dekat mane aku jatuh.

malu sgt nak jawab.

bluekz.

ive got myself a POSB card.

yayness of the yays.

smlm, gi POSB ngn mama and sis.

then, mama opened a new acct for me.aku tau ni smue tkde news bagi korang2 smue.

tapi, it means a lot to me. hehkz.

the shutter.

it`s a great movie aint it.

duno eyy.

i wana watch it.

but tktau ngn sape.

hmm.

either with danny and efy.

or..with mr x.

he said if it`s above 18, he`ll tryna sneak me in.

yayness.

if that`s ever possible ah eyy.

i told mr y. the truth.

that i`m not ready.

and if i am, i duno who i really want.

him or mr x.

he was calm.

told me to make the right choice that would make me happy.

i know.

haish.

iheartmr.x.

mr.xheartsme.

iheartmr.y.

mr.yheartsme.

???

nvm.

wont think too much abt this stuff.

if it`s meant to be itll be.

ahh.

besok mama nak adekan open house.

jadi..

kawan2, klau nak more collection, dtg je la ye.

hehkz.

selamat hari raye smue.

klau jalan raye tu, khususnye kaum Hawa, jgn la ber sms.

nanti jatuh mcm aku..mcm nangka busuk pulak.

2004-11-18T10:29:00.000-08:00

..for you

i`ll stand by you

Oh, why you look so sad,

The tears are in your eyes,

Come on and come to me now.
And don`t be ashamed to cry,

Let me see you through,

Cause I`ve seen the dark side too.

When the night falls on you,

You don`t know what to do,

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less.
I`ll stand by you,

I`ll stand by you,

Won`t let nobody hurt you,

I`ll stand by you.

So, if you`re mad, get mad;

Don`t hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, What you got to hide?

I get angry too,

Well, I`m a lot like you.

When you`re standing at the crossroads

And don`t know which path to choose,

Let me come along,

Cause even if you`re wrong,
I`ll stand by you,

I`ll stand by you,

Won`t let nobody hurt you.
I`ll stand by you,

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I`ll never desert you,

I`ll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you, baby,

You`re feeling all alone,

You won`t be on your own.
I`ll stand by you,

I`ll stand by you,

Won`t let nobody hurt you.
I`ll stand by you,

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I`ll never desert you.

I`ll stand by you.

2004-11-17T20:02:00.000-08:00

my.

four long tiring days since i last blogged.

miss me?

uh. i think its a yes then.

lol.

unexpected things happened.

unexpected words from unexpected people.

and, nothing expected happened.

first day of Raya was superb.

evriting was great, like the prev years, just that i loved my hair more.

lol.

i applied lotsa hair wax on my hair and made it look like Lindsay Lohan.

wakakaka.

amalina feeling Lindsay sia.

kasi lah aku feeling feeling sikit skali skale ni.

wellie, it worked anyways.

second day, went out with ET and family and all.

our family is SHRINKING.

padahal this year kite welcomed three new people into our family tree.

Zul, Kak Yan`s hubby, Mira, abg Fad`s wifey and Syafiq, Abg Boy`s new son.

klau dulu, klua ramai2, more than 3 families, naik lorry, shiok gile.

skrg, two cars aje.

Et`s family and mine.

argh.

pathetic.

but had great fun.

took million of pictures kat evri house.

lol.

step photogenic ah kan.

yest, went out with mama and akak to Mak Fizah`s and Nek Wah`s place.

uhh.

nice.

long time since i saw Zati and Elisha.

after which, baba fetched us at the bus stand and we went to Maklong`s place first and later to Nek Tik`s and lastly, Cik Yah`s place.

just now tak klua, cume p TKC, to buy a new dustbin.

lol.

of all stuff.

we bought a stainless steel nye.

our old one stil looked good, but well, sometimes we just buy stuff to make ourselves feel good.

later at night nak fetch mama from her class and p uma Mak Busu.

uhh.

again, bermaaf maafan and collection ler lagi aku.

smlm, sangat lah malu.

tapi aku tk kesa la sgt kan.

ade la aku p uma satu hamba Allah ni.

lepas dah salam, aku nmpk die bagi akak $$. aku nye turn pulak,

die tak kasi.

aku tak pasal la kan.

skali, akak bisik kat aku,

DEK, ADEK TAK DAPAT EH.
akak aku ni pon satu.

tapi, aku geleng kepale je.

dah klua uma, told mama.

mama and baba laffed.

bile masok kerete, mama kasi empat dolar.

mama kate, biar equal lah dgn akak.

wah.

mama slalu uat gini, so that none of us would feel like we`re less special.

aku untung jadi anak mak aku.

i syg my mama manee manee.

chatting and demanding a testi from azri.

kat msn.

uhh.

hes reluctant ic.

that layzee boy.

and, coming up with excuses.

argh.

haish.

sigh.

sigh.

ahh.

sape nak tgk gmbr aku feeling Lindsay.

muahahaha.

sorry lah, aku feeling superstar ah nari.

lol.

hehehe.